Back to Pirouette the Third.

I tried, I really did, but the timing just isn’t right for Soulfire.  I’d suspected it, and fought it, but there it is.  So, it’s official.  I’m switching back to Pirouette the Third for the rest of the year.

A few days ago, I realized that I was blocked.  And I was in denial.  So I listened to Holly Lisle’s Beating Writer’s Block audio book and did a few of the exercises.  I discovered a couple of things.  1) That the timing was all wrong. 2) I was, deep down inside, pressuring myself too much to produce.  3) I felt guilty for putting Pirouette the Third aside, even though I’d convinced myself that I needed a break.  And 4) I’d made some changes to Soulfire early on and my muse was fighting them.  But when I tried to work on it without those changes, I couldn’t do it.  I was stuck.  But I seemed okay to work on Pirouette the Third, so heck, I’ll take anything I can get at this point, as long as it’s not nothing.

Yeah, seems I can pressure myself without even realizing it.  And in the wake of the family drama, I need to be gentle to myself.  I’m not a writing machine.  I can produce.  But I can’t force something to come just to say that I’ve done it, or to win Nanowrimo.  I need time to heal.  If that means that Soulfire has to be put aside, then so be it.  I considered taking a 2-week break from writing, but decided to give it a shot.  It’s working so far.  Slowly.  Yesterday I wrote 288 words, and today I wrote 519.  No. Pressure.

Unforgiven is still niggling at me.  I have no idea what to do with it.  I don’t want to overdo things, but the idea is really compelling.  Part of the problem is that I have an inciting incident and a vague idea of a few things, but nothing really definite.  That’s never stopped me before (remember Requiem in Blue?) but this one, since it’s somewhat a new genre for me (thriller), and it’s personal, needs special attention.  So I guess we’ll see.

I feel good about the decisions I’ve made, almost at peace.  And right now, peace is a commodity.  Maybe by the end of the year I’ll have had made good progress on Pirouette the Third and maybe can start submitting it.  No pressure, of course.  Just would be nice.

Going to also be working more on my website.  I need to get at least the Writer side completed.  Stay tuned.

Broken.

Been meaning to get back here and post, but time has been a slippery thing as of late.

Nanowrimo isn’t going too well for me so far.  I’m at 6k, when I should be at 20k.    On day 2 I made the decision to not worry about making 50k.  I’ve been under alot of stress at work, and been having migraines and wrist problems.

And my family’s in crisis right now.  Can’t really get into it for privacy reasons, but basically someone very close to my heart betrayed us (not the beloved!). Someone who I never thought would ever do something so …..awful.  Family has always been important to all of us, and well….I just don’t know.

Been mostly numb, although I’ve had a grand total of two meltdowns, one at work which really sucked.  I’m coping. I’m trying to make sense of this, trying to handle it best I can, and not go crazy.  It’s been a struggle as of late.  The ones left standing and the beloved have been great, and I am damn grateful for that.  We are lucky to have each other.  And I take comfrort in knowing that at least that will never change.

So…..writing and Nanowrimo haven’t been at the top of my list.  I stopped writing for 4 days immediately following the inciting incident, but felt the urge and started writing again.  Was okay till Nano day 2, and it all broke down.  I feel broken.  I feel as if a critical part of me has gone away, and it won’t be coming back.  Grief?  Not really.  Strangely.  I’m mad more than sad at the moment.  I haven’t spoken to this individual since the incident, and I’m not sure when — if ever — I will.  There are just some lines you just don’t cross, EVER.

Of course, as if I needed more ideas, the muse twists this up and hands me an intriguing — very intriguing — idea.  Loosely based on the incident, but beyond that, pure fiction.  I’m thinking paranormal or horror.  It’s tentatively called Unforgiven (yes, a nod to Metallica) and I might just handwrite the damned thing.  Been meaning to try that method, but always thought it would waste time.  I just read an article about how writers write and guess what?  Most of them draft by hand!  I was surprised, especially in today’s day and age, but whatever works, right?

Just for the record, I almost decided to put Soulfire on the back burner.  Why?  It just wasn’t gelling, until last night.  Now I’m good with it, after a great writing night, if only the wrist would cooperate.

I’ve also been poking at Pirouette the Third  in the middle of all this.  It’s been coming along.

So that’s the lowdown.  Wish I had better things to say.

A quote: The heart remembers what the mind tries so much to forget.  Might be the first line of Unforgiven.  I don’t know.

Nanowrimo!

It’s that time of the year again, where writers everywhere try like mad to make the goal of 50,000 words in 30 days.  This is my 5th year of officially participating, and I love it.

Project is Soulfire, of course.  I’m ready to rock and roll.  Midnight tonight, I will be writing.

 

Slow progress.

Making very slow progress on Pirouette the Third.  I’ve been ripping it apart, deleting scenes or condensing them, and rewriting others.  I’ve got it down to 117k which is really cool.

I’m focusing on Alisia and Lucien’s relationship arc, as well as the subplot.  I realized that I may not have been as brutal as I should have been when I did the One Pass Revision.  I also found out some big flaws (thanks to my critiquers) that needed fixing.  But that’s okay, because I want it to be stronger, and it will be when I’m done.

I like what I’m getting.

Although sometimes it feels like I’m juggling three balls.

As for Soulfire, got a tentative plot in mind and things are starting to gel.  I’m very happy about that.  I have a possible first line, and the theme song.  And a 73-song playlist.  The theme song is Baba O’Riley by The Who.  I realized that it could be a metaphor for the future dystopic Earth I’m creating.  That really made my day.

Nanowrimo in 19 days.  I can’t wait.

Also did a major overhaul on my website yet again.  This version is simpler and cleaner, and I love it.  Check it out at http://www.erinkendall.com.  Most of the links aren’t live yet, however.  The Writer link is.

And lastly, I’m beginning to have problems with my wrist again.  So it looks like I’ll be voice reccing Nano again.  Was hoping to avoid that, but hey, I’m glad it’s possible.  I still have a good chance of getting 50k that way.

So that’s what’s going on. 

Nineteen. Days.

Shadowlight by Lynn Viehl

You get a two-fer today. 

Lynn Viehl has a new book coming out Oct. 6th, and it’s the first in her new Kyndred series, which is a spin-off of her awesome Darkyn series.  There was a snafu with the ARCs (Advance Reading Copies), she didn’t have any, and put out a call to her blog readers to review her book in electronic form (e-ARC, pretty darnd cool!).

I for one jumped at this opportunity because the teaser in the last Darkyn book, “Stay the Night,” intrigued me.  And yes, I’m an ARC whore.  If an author offers any, I’m SO there.

So I read devoured Shadowlight in roughly a week.  It would have been sooner, but I couldn’t drag it with me everywhere, but that’s okay.  I had no trouble keeping track of the story, even when reading another along with it (I do this frequently….and oddly enough, nothing gets confused or tangled or anything in my head).  This doesn’t mean that Shadowlight didn’t keep my interest.  Far from it.

From the first page, I was completely hooked.  And floored.  So many neat ideas.  The book centers around Jessa Bellamy, a woman with an interesting (and somewhat dangerous) ability called “shadowlight” — she can “see” a person’s most horrible secrets and guilt.  She’s hunted by various people: people who wish her harm, and people like her who want to keep her safe. 

The Kyndred fascinate me.  The abilities they possess are nothing short of amazing and unique and wonderful (even the tough ones).

Concurrent with Jessa’s storyline is another, a man bent on revenge who becomes a monster.  I’m just going to leave it at that to prevent spoiling it.  It reminded me a bit of {POSSIBLE SPOILER ALERT} “Shadowfires” by Dean Koonz{END POSSIBLE SPOILER}.  In a good way, of course.  I like the idea of what he’d become, on a purely writerly-character torturer kind of way (I’m all about the character torture, *g*).

The pacing was incredible.  It did start kind of slow, introducing everything, but once I was grounded in the story, I was fine.  A few Darkyn characters make an appearance, but don’t worry — Lynn explains it all without being boring or repetitive.  And those who haven’t read her Darkyn books, it makes sense and doesn’t detract from the story at all.  I’m very impressed with how she handled all the backstory.

There’s romance in it too, as well as some hot sex.  Naturally!  I like the hero and think he’s totally hot and mysterious and cool.  We found out later the why of the mystery — it’s really, really cool.

And in typical Lynn Viehl fashion, she threw us an awesome twist at the end.

Oh yeah, I really like one of the other characters, Rowan.  She’s fascinating, flawed, and tough.  We got a little preview of her book, Kyndred book #2, Dreamveil.  I am dying to read it.

So, would I recommend this book?  Hell fucking yeah!  Especially if you like the Darkyn books.  Shadowlight flowed very seemlessly from the end of the Darkyn books.  It all made sense, and Viehl is superb at worldbuilding and character creation. 

So, an awesome book to start a series that is going to be awesome.  But I’d recommend ANY of Lynn Viehl’s stuff, or her sci-fi books writing under the penname S.L. Viehl.  I wasn’t even into sci-fi till I read her Stardoc books.  She’s just THAT good.

Read Shadowlight!  Prepare to be hooked.

A tale of 3 stories.

I’ve just waged war with my muse on 3 (count them, 3!) stories.

But let me start at the beginning.

Chapter 2 of Pirouette the Third nearly killed me.  I couldn’t seem to want to write.  I was scared that I was going to fuck it up.  Even though this is draft 3, of possibly many more, and that I  wanted to make good progress on it before Nanowrimo.  So…..I’d decided to take a week break off of it to clear my head.  That week ends Tuesday.

So that’s story #1.  I’m still getting ideas and I’m still thinking about it, but I’m trying not to bludgeon myself to death over it.  It’s a draft.  Just like the first two.  I’m still learning.  And I’m committed to making this the best it can be and start querying agents with it.  So….whatever needs to happen to make that possible, I’m all for it.

One week.

Then, I get hit, yet again, with the idea for the novella I Wake Up Alone.  Yeah, I’d filed it away under To Be Done Sometime in the Next Decade, made its folder, jotted down a few notes, and called it good.

Then the idea of time travel hit me, and as these things often do, it melded into something far more interesting.  And quite possibly more tragic.  Then I realized that I couldn’t do another Time Traveler’s Wife.  But before that lovely epiphany, I was knee-deep in a war with my muse.  She wants me to write this damn thing, like right NOW, before Nano, and submit it.  Okaaaaaaaay.  Never mind that it’s just half-formed in my head and hello, it’s too similar to Time Traveler’s Wife.  I decided a few nights ago to stop obcessing and come up with something more unique, or a unique form of time travel, or something.

So far, we’re doing okay on that front.  I think about it, but I’m not obcessing.  And I really like the time travel element. 

Story #3: Soulfire.  More nebulousness in my head.  Knew the basics, but not the plot.  Did some navel-gazing and brainstorming and have arrived at a rough outline.  Today, whilst in the shower, Liana started talking to me in the form of journal entries.  So I raced to the puter to type up the notes.  My next thing is to write out some of these journal entries in her voice.  It’s pre-work, so it works for Nano.  And with what I got today, I CAN’T wait to write this book.

But for about a week, I was cycling between these 3, trying to figure out what would get me the most bang for my buck, so to speak, and what to put on the back burner, and what the hell to do with Pirouette the Third.  I’ll tell you, it’s these times that make being a writer tough.  Decisions, so many decisions!  And this is just new stuff.  None of the old stuff that’s been patiently waiting like Darkweaver, Surrender, or What Lies Beneath.  All totally shiny in their own ways, but languishing.  Hopefully next year I can work on at least one of them.

So that’s the deal.  I came in with 3 stories and landed up with 1.  Well, 2 if you count Pirouette the Third.  And my eye is firmly set on publication, so I’m still heading in that direction.  Fun stuff.

Pirouette the Third is underway.

755 words last night.  So far, so good. 

Don’t have much else to say at the moment.  Except I’m happy to be back into it again.

Survivor is FINISHED!!!

I’m so fucking happy.

That is all.

Not quite there yet.

The final scene of Survivor is partway done.  590 words to be exact. Then I got sick.    That killed any hopes of finishing tonight.

And, besides, I’m not entirely certain I like what I got.  That’s never stopped me before–after all, that’s what edits and rewrites are for–but this feels monumental, and I wanted something at least somewhat good.  Something I don’t look at with disgust.  Of course, it could be my Inner Editor talking.  But, as it is, I think it needs more.

So tomorrow, if I feel okay, I’ll attack it again.

Almost there.

Just wrote the 2nd to last scene of Survivor.  It feels really good and a bit surreal, as it’s been in progress for 5 years.  Five long years.  When I think of Amber’s adventure, it feels a bit bittersweet.  Her story is coming to a close.  The ending I envisioned 5 years ago is not quite what it is now, although it has a bit of a tie to the original.  But alot of it was decided last year on the fly, but that was a good thing.  I think it’s stronger for it.

Unless I sell this thing and get a sequel, this is it.  I might someday try writing Ghost.  Just to see if I can.  Barring any delays or emergencies or hurting wrists, I should finish this book tomorrow.

:faints: