Tag Archives: health woes

Because my health sucks.

#ROW80 Check-in 10/22/17

I have been not feeling the best for the past few days. I actually got carsick on Friday (I have a stomach condition that acts up sometimes when in a car if I’ve eaten right before) and today I am in a fibro flare. My first in literally years.

My mom’s having knee replacement surgery on Wednesday, and there’s a lot of prep and planning involved. She’s got an elderly dog who’s very attached to her, and he needs round-the-clock care. I am taking care of him, so there’s all these things I need to learn and remember. I suspect I am a bit stressed out.

That said, I have gotten some things done:

~Finish rewrite of Fireborn, revise it, edit it, and submit it for Dec. 1st deadline. ~Revision is coming along. I’m in the rewriting phase of things. I hope to be done by the end of the month, then I can start the final proofread/edit.
~Transfer Survivor outline to notecards, for reals this time ~Nope. I was hoping to get this done this weekend, but it’s not looking good.
~Participate in NanoWriMo with an amended goal of 30k (Survivor) ~Still planning for this.
~Begin edit of Secret Project ~Have not started.
~Decide on next project and start working on that (Covenant and When She Sleeps are the top contenders) ~Currently, it’s When She Sleeps, and I recently wrote 300 words of a new scene. I also figured out how to end the current scene which has been giving me fits.
~Finish In Flames cover or hire someone to do it  ~A writer friend generously offered to make me a cover. Cover reveal soon!

Non-writing stuffs:

~Water 5x a week 
~Read 1 book a week ~Finished reading Gutted: Beautiful Horror Stories, a horror anthology. It was okay. Not spectacular, but not a total waste of time. Also read Fool Proof Dictation by Christopher Downing.  Started on Road to Helltown by SM Reine (ARC). 
~Chocolate consumption reports, of course! ~Several slices of chocolate ice cream cake (but not all at once!) It was DIVINE.

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#ROW80 Check-in Dec.11th

I’m baaaack!

I’ve had a rough couple of weeks. First, I finished the Ever Touched revision on time, but it was a struggle. I also got a freelance editing job in the midst of that, which was great, but needed to be done, so I wasn’t able to do much else (but the extra money was worth it!). And I have another one coming in tomorrow, which is great. 🙂

Then…I started getting these odd, itchy blisters on my hands and feet. The itching was miserable. I couldn’t sleep for at least a week. I finally got the brilliant idea of taking Benadryl before bed so I could sleep, except that really made me groggy in the morning. I couldn’t take hot showers b/c the heat would make the itching exponentially worse. All in all, I was miserable and a bit freaked out.

Long story short — I saw my doctor on Friday and he said it is vesicular eczema, which only affects the hands and feet. Apparently it could have started due to an allergy, but maybe not (we’ve racked our brains and can’t come up with anything). My dad had atopic eczema, and I guess there’s a genetic component to all of this. He gave me a shot of steroids (which I’m not sure helped), a prescription strength anti-itch cream, and told me to make sure I put moisturizer on myself every day indefinitely, as my skin is too dry (always in the winter). If I’m not better in one week, I’ll need to call him and probably come in again.

I can’t even tell you how miserable this is. Besides being itchy all the time, I have to constantly be aware of how warm I get b/c that affects it. I don’t sleep with many covers, so most of the time I’m freezing. I’m also swollen from the steroids, so I can’t wear my wedding rings or my anniversary ring, which I know is not huge and is temporary, but I have never not worn them and my hands feel naked. All my scratching can lead to a skin infection, so I’m worried about that as well. The funny thing? I figured this out myself. I did some research and saw pictures, and they looked just like my hands. But of course I needed confirmation of that, so I saw the doctor.I just want this to go away! I’m afraid it’s going to linger, and I’ll have to battle this for awhile and I really don’t want to.

But I guess of all the things that could be happening, this is relatively minor. Just a nuisance. But still…

So I haven’t done much of anything. But here’s the rundown:

Ever Touched revision – DONE and turned in 12/1. I get it back January 1st for the first round of revisions.

FYFB class – SO behind, not even funny. But I will be working on it today a bit.

Reviews – Somewhat caught up, but I have a few that need to be done like right now…

Exercise – Are you kidding me? Nope.

Water – Pretty much 5x a week, yay!

Weight – Lost 3 pounds, yay!

Chocolate consumption – Not a lot, really. WW Sundaes, chocolate-caramel thingies, hot chocolate. Lots of Twizzlers and Snickerdoodles.

#ROW80 Check-in August 14th

Oh, boy. Another week down! Where are they going? I swear it was just August 1st!

Okay, so progress has still been pretty slow due to the knee issue. I’ve been to ER who said it was a sprain (no kidding!) and gave me painkillers. Saw my doctor who said it was a sprain of the medial collateral ligament (that would be the ligament that is on the right side of your knee looking down at it) and he suggested we wait a few weeks to see if it heals on its own before doing anything. I agree, b/c I do not want to get an MRI or incur any more bills if it’s just going to heal but take awhile to do it. If things aren’t even a little bit improved, then it’s MRI and orthopedic time. He says there could be a tear. :cries:

So, been doing the icing/anti-inflammatory/painkiller/wrapping regimen and…no improvement. Been having trouble sleeping, so I’m taking the one painkiller before bed. I’m also trying to elevate it when I’m home and when I’m sleeping. I am hoping it’s just taking its time. I do to need this right now.

The thing I’m most focused on is my short story. I got my crits back, and there are a lot of changes that need to be made. All valid points, and I agree with them. What’s funny is that another writer and I wrote our stories very close to each other, but never talked about our stories, so we had no way of knowing what the other was writing! We’re working toward making them different enough so the collection is more well-rounded.

So that’s happening. Tomorrow I’ll be working on that.

Here’s the rundown on the rest:

Ever Touched – 1,528 words written since last check-in (I had no idea it was that many!), and I’m less than 500 words away from 100k. 🙂

Covenant – Nada

Exercise – Nada, until this knee thing is resolved

Water – Every day but one.

Reviews – Will be posting a review for one book on Monday. Need to start another book asap.

Secret project – Nada

Chocolate consumption: WW Sundaes, WW pastry thingies, WW chocolate caramels, Ultimate chocolate sandwiches, cookies ‘n’ cream ice cream. and WW chocolate brownies.

 

 

#ROW80 Check-in August 7th

It’s been a very rough week. My knee is no better, despite icing and anti-inflammatory meds and all that. I will most likely need to see the doctor. 😦

And I’ve been exhausted.

So progress was very minimal.

Here’s the rundown:

Ever Touched – 2,310 words written since last check-in, 98k in draft. Would love to hit 100k in the next few days. Implemented my new twist, and it’s going well so far.

Covenant – Nope, but thinking a lot.

Exercise – Nooooooooo.

Water – 4x this week.

Reviews – Finished a book and posted review today. Three more to go!

Secret project – Ideas are simmering.

Chocolate consumption: Chocolate birthday cake from my mom’s birthday party yesterday, WW sundae, WW ultimate chocolate sandwiches, WW caramel-chocolate thingies, chocolate chip cookies, chocolate zucchini bread, and these new chocolate pastry crisps from Aldi. Yummy!

#ROW80 Check-in July 31st – oh, injury

This week’s been a bit rough because that knee pain I mentioned on Wednesday got worse in a BIG way. My hubby took me to Urgent Care yesterday and thankfully there are no ligament tears. There’s some kind of strain, the doctor said. He has me on a regimen of icing (4x per day) and motrin (2x per day). I’m also wearing a support sleeve during the day. He says it’s okay to walk on it, which is great because not being able to walk would suck.

(Don’t think I ever mentioned this, but I was in a car accident when I was 22 and hurt both my knees. Severe tendonitis. They gave me trouble for a long time, but eventually got better. During the worst of it, I used to wear a brace on the worse knee — my right. I was told that I’d end up with problems down the road. Ye Gods.)

So yeah, I’m doing okay, managing. It’s a bit tough to be productive when you’re in pain. So this weekend I got very little done. Hopefully next week is better!

Ever Touched – wrote 3,318 words, up to 95k.

Covenant – Thought about it Friday afternoon after everyone went home for work, but succumbed to my sleepiness instead (shh, don’t tell my bosses!)
294 words written today!

Water – Every day but two.

Exercise – Suspended till my knee is better. And it probably won’t be the bike anymore. 😦 Maybe walking instead.

Reviews – Finished one book. About to start another. (Getting more caught up!)

Secret project – Gave it some thought. Nothing on paper though.

Chocolate consumption: chocolate zucchini bread, chocolate chip cookies, WW Sundaes, WW ultimate chocolate ice cream bars, WW chocolate-caramel thingies.

 

#ROW80 Check-in May 15th

I’m still making glacier-slow progress on Ever Touched dictating. I guess it’s just going to be slow while my wrist heals. Very frustrating, but it is what it is.

Also I’ve been fighting exhaustion again, so there’s so much I wanted to do that didn’t get done. Apparently I’m not anemic, so it must be the fibromyalgia. I’ve been meaning to get back into my darkroom to print, but I’ve had to put it off for the past few weeks. Hopefully, I can soon.

I also participated in #PitDark on Thursday (a twitter pitch thing where you pitch a book in a tweet to agents and publishers). I got two really good agents who are interested in my book (Pirouette/Death Dancer – the same one I sent off to a different publisher in January) so for the past few days I’ve been working on a query letter. Distilling a 121k novel down into what feels like haiku is not only really hard, but exhausting. I’ve been getting good feedback on a forum I’m on, so I think I’m on the right track. One of today’s tasks is to do another revision. Cross your fingers and toes that this works! I would love to get an agent out of this. If anything else, it’s great practice for the future.

Okay, on to the rundown:

Ever Touched – up to 87k (approximately 4,000 words written since the last check-in. More than I thought, actually! Maybe it just feels like it’s going slow?)

Covenant – Nada. I really feel awful about this. 😦

Water – Every day except two.

Exercise – 3 times – 2 walks, 1 bike (up to 6 minutes now!)

Elysium – Nada. Wanted to do something on it yesterday but the wrist wasn’t cooperating. Does planning on doing it, even if it doesn’t get done, count? (Just kidding!)

Darkroom – As mentioned above, this has been put off due to exhaustion.

Chocolate consumption – Oreos. Lots of Oreos. WW Sundaes. WW chocolate caramels.. Ice cream Twix bars. Did I mention Oreos? 😉

Annnnd that’s it for me. How about you?

 

 

 

#AprilLove Day 14: Dear Courage

Just chugging along. I’m still really behind, but I’m managing. 🙂

Dear Courage,

I did not know your depth until I was forced to find you. Until I was forced to reach for you, and use you to vanquish my fears, or get through something very scary. And there’s the little things, too — a tough situation at work, going to the doctor to investigate this or that, having to have 3 MRIs in a row when I am severely claustrophobic. Facing illness in others. When a co-worker died and I was grieving. Every time I put words on the page (or computer screen). These are all acts of courage, and without you, I couldn’t have done them.

Every book I’ve ever written has been an act of courage. Every poem. When I decided to self-publish Fey Touched in 2012, that was you helping me to reach for my dream of being published. It didn’t matter that I had no idea what I was doing or how the world would react to my book…I’d decided to put it out there, whether I got glowing reviews or bad ones, because I needed to. For myself. You stood by me every step of the way.

Rewriting Grave Touched was also an act of courage. You were there when I rewrote it and revised it, telling me to keep on it, that it will be good. And that was important because at the time, I couldn’t imagine this book being good. It just wasn’t in me, after the TN and low esteem and insecurity got a hold of me. But you were right. Grave Touched is great book, and I’m damn proud of it.

I remember a line from Rod Stewart’s song “Forever Young”: Be courageous and be brave/in my heart you’ll always stay/forever young. And when I was diagnosed with fibromyalgia and intractable vertigo in 2003, never have I needed you more. I was scared. I was faced with people not believing me. I was faced with daily pain and fatigue, and a zillion other things going wrong health-wise. I was faced with weekly doctor visits, and medications, and people’s ideas being pushed on me because they thought they knew better. I learned how to stand up for myself and advocate for my own health. My life had changed irrevocably that year, and not everything survived the change. But, most of all, I learned that I could find you when I most needed you — in those dark moments when I believed it a death sentence, those times when I had to make tough decisions about what to do or not, based on my pain level. When I was teaching, and I was so tired, but wanted to do it so badly I put myself through it anyway (and a full-time day job). It did a bit of damage, but it was what I needed to do for myself and my students.

When I had to have three surgeries on my jaw due to infections and rejection from a previous surgery, when I thought I would die, when my fear of needles was so overwhelming that I didn’t think I could go through with it — you were there, whispering in my ear, saying that everything will be okay and it will only hurt for a bit. I remember my last surgery, in August of 2011, the song “Kashmir” by Led Zeppelin was playing on the radio, and somehow I drew strength from that (because music and my mind have been intertwined since I was a kid).

(Obviously, the song had nothing to do with the surgery, but a connection was made that somehow let me find you quicker and easier.)

And, the doozie was when I was in so much pain daily from the trigeminal neuralgia that I wasn’t sure I wanted to go on, and you told me to never give up, and to keep on, as much as I can, because things WILL get better. (An they did, thanks to you!). But man, I was so scared and freaked out and couldn’t imagine living that way. And when I had my little meltdown after watching “The Fault in Our Stars” and my mom and husband were looking at me funny because I’d been crying for an hour, you were there with comforting words and the strength I needed.You gave me the strength to say, “I have never mourned the loss of my normal life due to this. I have never LET myself feel it so intensely. I was too busy trying to be brave.” But, as the movie has shown me, pain demands to be felt. And right then, I needed it, despite what others may or think.

My general philosophy in life actually comes right from you. I don’t believe in conformity, or being someone I’m not, or not standing up for myself. That, too, is very courageous. It takes courage to be your true self and live without apology or a care. I NEVER worry about other people and how they may react or think. I worry about what’s right for me, and what I’m doing or not doing. Because this life is mine, and I have one chance to live it. Living for someone else or censoring myself or pretending to be someone else is just pointless. Unfortunately, a lot of people do that and I just shake my head.

I’m cool as I am. I have hopes, and dreams, and things I want to accomplish. You’re there for me every step of the way, supporting me, encouraging me, and not letting me fall. You are truly my partner in this, and I look forward to many more courageous things in the future.

#ROW80 Check-in #11

I have been sleeping better, but I’m still exhausted, so I’ve had some issues getting things done this week (again!). I think some of it is the fibromyalgia messing with me again.

Here is the run down:

Ever Touched – Broke 50k yesterday! I wrote over 2k yesterday which is awesome! I wish I could do that every day! I wanted to hit 50k before my copyediting started. I’m supposed to get the manuscript today, so that will take priority for the rest of the month. But I still plan on working on Ever Touched when I can.

Covenant/8 minutes a day – Big fat fail on this one. No energy. Yesterday I wanted to work on it, but Real Life intruded, and by the time I had the time to do it, it was too late at night and I was ready for bed! Gah! Going to try to get back into the swing again this week.

Planner – Going better than last week! I filled in the entire week except today.

Water – Every day except one.

Physical activity – Another fail. Although today I have some cleaning to do, so that will count.

Darkroom – Another fail. Low energy + Real Life intruding. I hope that things calm down. It’s funny. All I need to do is transfer chemicals into other containers for disposal.I need to do that before I can develop the test roll. Not too difficult, but finding the time and/or energy? Not happening.

Sooooo I hope to be more productive this week. Wish me luck!

 

#ROW80 Check-in #10

Happy Day-Before-Leap-Year-Day!

So it’s been a rough week for me. I haven’t been sleeping well, so I’ve been alternately zonked and exhausted. Last night, I was a bit sicky so I had no motivation to do anything (I did write 400 words on Ever Touched though!) and I was stuck on Covenant and…yeah. Bad week. Nevertheless, I did manage some things, so that’s a win in my book!

Ever Touched – I’m up to 44k now, heading quickly toward 50k. I was a bit stuck on something but I think I’m over that. Things are picking up, and getting more interesting by the day. In March, I have copyediting to do for TDP, so my progress may be a bit less, but I’m hoping to continue to do something on it regardless.

Covenant/8 minutes a day – Hit and miss for this. I tried, I really did, but some days just getting my words in for Ever Touched was a struggle (and some days I did not make my quota). I know writing for 8 minutes doesn’t sound like it needs a lot of energy, but where I’m at in the story requires lots of forethought. And I think handling two WIPs in one day while exhausted is just too much. But luckily, I think my sleep is getting back to normal so I think I can do more of that this week. I hope.

Planner – Filled in the first 5 days and then nothing. I actually forgot about it until yesterday, oops! Will try to get this week entirely filled in.

Physical activity – Not much, although today I did 15 minutes.

Darkroom – Been putting this off due to lack of energy. It just hasn’t been there. But I will get to this, damn it!

Water – Every day except one, and 2 glasses on one day!

 

This fatigue/not sleeping well thing sucks. Hopefully I get back on track this week!

#ROW80 Check-in #3

It’s been a rough few days for me. I spent most of Wednesday night in the ER thinking I had appendicitis when I actually was severely dehydrated. That was a wake up call. I’m not a fan of plain water, but it looks like I will need to start drinking it. So I’ve been trying to add it into my daily routine. We’ll see how that goes.

I have finished the submission to the publisher – synopsis and first 3 chapters. I am waiting for a bit to see if there’s any other feedback on the most recent version of the synopsis I posted to the forum. I still have almost another week. I am not waiting till the last minute though. They are in the UK and go by BST, and I have no idea how that converts to our time, and I don’t want to miss it. So mid-week or so I’ll submit.

Next up is Changeling 4 revision. I’m wibbling a bit on the ending. I think I need another installment to wrap things up. So I need to leave a few things ambiguous. I’m pretty sure I know how it ends, though, so that’s progress.

What else? I’m giving some thought to what’s coming next. Fireborn, for sure. Getting my freebie set up with Mailchimp so I can get more subscribers to my newsletter. A Facebook ad for it, too.

After that…not really sure. Probably Covenant and Ever Touched. Something for my 8-minutes a day thing(if different). Survivor Sundays for sure.

That’s about it. 🙂