Amber is the main character, and Survivor is the story. I’m having trouble with the first two scenes. So, I interviewed Amber. Found out some interesting things. (I do this occasionally when I’m stuck. It works wonders.)
So here’s the interview, as it came from my fingertips. You might get a kick out of it.
NOTE: A is Amber, blank is me.
Why are you being so difficult?
A: I’m not being difficult. You’re being difficult.
A: You won’t write. You’re confused. You can’t be confused with this.
Okay, why do you think that?
A: How long have you worked on this book? 11 years? You should know it. Really know it. And me.
I really don’t know you. Not as you are now. Time has passed between then and now.
A: I’m the same girl you sat down with back in 2004. I haven’t changed.
But your beginning feels wrong. Why?
A: Distance? You’re more sensitive now? Less sensitive? I dunno. You’re different.
I’ve grown as a writer, for sure.
A: Have you grown out of this book?
A: Okay, then. Let’s work together to solve this.
Okay, let’s do that.
A: I still think my beginning is powerful. All you got to do is fix it so [redacted for spoilers]. Maybe cut away from me screaming incoherently and to me in the hospital, looking at my face in the mirror and horrified at the bandages.
I could see you horrified, yeah.
A: I won’t look like her anymore.
No, you won’t.
A: And I will be…freaked out, I think. I mean, I was manic in scene 1, I was in an almost fatal car crash in scene 2, so I’m a little bit whacked out. Play with that. Bring in the Guardian.
Isn’t it too soon?
A: No, because I need stuff to pile up. It needs to build until I crack.
So I’m torturing you.
A: Bingo. And we know how much you love that.
I do, yeah. But why can’t we keep it the same?
A: The same isn’t working. Your brain is telling you that. Hell, your muse is telling you. You couldn’t even look at it yesterday, you were so confused. And that kinda sucks. I need my story told.
I need to tell your story. I need it out of my head and into the world.
A: Yes, so let’s take care of this problem and move the freak on, okay?
Okay. We will do that.
So…got some ideas. Also, just before doing this freewrite, I did a different one on why I was stuck. I discovered that because I’ve been getting feedback on everything, my muse is a bit beat up. (And I need that feedback, so this isn’t a complaint, honestly!) She’s feeling cagey about just writing and getting words down, and screwing up the story. So I need to step away from that — at least, when writing — and see if I can just write and not worry about anything else.
Things creep in, you know? Bills. Work. Eye pain. The upcoming release. What people will say. Hell, what they won’t say. I need to let it all GO, right here, right now.
And just write.