Tag Archives: talking to myself

Talking to myself: Ending Ever Touched

I’m a bit hung up on a plot point in Ever Touched, so I’m gonna do my usual “talk to myself” thing to see if I can shake something loose.

As always, POSSIBLE SPOILERS for the end of Ever Touched. I may or may not use what I discover here. You’ve been warned.

Okay, so let’s get down to business. I need a way for the Hunters to find the three others who are hidden before they are [redacted].

How, with their implants turned off? I had a thought that maybe they could still sense each other, somehow, but that feels too easy.

What about the old-fashioned way? Using their knowledge of Julian and maybe some clues to find them? But what clues? Tari’s in a shack in the middle of nowhere. I haven’t figured out where the others are.

I’ll try talking to Brianna….

So, how are you going to accomplish this?

I’m not entirely sure. I think there has to be a link between the locations — where each woman is. Maybe places of significance, even if it doesn’t appear to be that way.

What if you are able to sense them without the implant working?

That’d be cool, but I can’t depend on that. He’s going to make sure they are off. And any psychic sense? I just don’t know. It seems risky. We’ve got a time limit.

Tari could possibly develop a sense without the implant, you know. She’s got a computer brain.

I’m still not sure.

Could Julian somehow show his hand and not realize it?

He’s an arrogant SOB. I don’t put it past him to somehow hint at where they are, thinking we’re too stupid to catch on.

And your situation is unstable….

Time’s running out for me, too.

But the visions…they could show you where they are, right?

Vaguely. It would give us a starting point. It will still be tough.

I think you guys could do it. You’ve been in impossible situations before.

Possible, yes. And hopefully before I have my, uh, problem flair up and uh, [redacted].


Okay, so I blame it on the day I’ve had. Of course it was the visions! That’s how this whole thing started, and hello, we’ll come full circle. It’s brilliant!

So I will probably use that or some variation of it. Now I need to figure out where the other two are and how these visions play out.

Lots to think about. 🙂


Talking to myself: Ending Fireborn

So, whenever I am stuck on something in a story I’m writing, I like to “talk to myself” which basically means typing out my thoughts freeform and hope an answer reveals itself. Typically, I don’t post these, but since it’s been awhile since I’ve done one (I think years), I thought I’d try it again.


So, when i first conceived the idea of Fireborn, I knew my MC, Leliel, a former Grim Reaper, was going to vanquish the antagonist, a ghost who compels young men to commit suicide via self-immolation. Dark subject matter there for sure. I also recently figured out (remember, I am not a plotter) that Leliel will be (almost) compelled to do the same thing. Whether or not the ghost tries to make Leliel’s husband Rick to do it as well remains to be seen.

I have it set up. Leliel and Rick are tied to chairs. One of their allies has turned on them. The ghost, Samantha, who’s wearing a recently dead body, begins to compel Leliel to write her suicide note (as she has done with all other victims). There will also be a Tarot card left at the scene. Which one, I have no clue.

Leliel is actively fighting it, and Rick is freaking out and …then what? Obviously, Leliel ha to fight it enough to get free in order to live (and not die by fire. Factoid: Leliel originally died in a fire.) and I wanted Rick to somehow get free and help her with that (which would be a nice tie-in to how he helps her in episode 1). I need a way for him to get free. I have the traitor to deal with, who’s a powerful witch. Rick has no supernatural powers except sensing the feelings of the dead. I also want to bring in the police and/or the TV news reporter guy. They were both working on the case and Leliel and Rick had been sharing information with them.

There is also the conspiracy to work out. This whole thing started when a group of guys killed Samantha by fire, and she’s just getting revenge. But the school (college) didn’t want anyone to know, because the kids were from money, and that’s just not socially acceptable. So it was buried, and no one would help Leliel and Rick figure this out. So I need to bring that all to light somehow.

Could someone on the inside come forward out of guilt? (Now, the traitor was one such person, so I’m not sure I want to do it a second time).A teacher? A mother? An intern at the news station who runs across confidential information and cannot keep quiet? Hmmm, I kind of like that, but it seems so random.

So back to the showdown. Police come in, guns blazing, and release Rick and Leliel. The witch tries something, and it either works or doesn’t. The distraction is enough for Leliel to fight the compulsion and she stops what she’s doing and is saved. Samantha is somehow put to rest, both her borrowed body and soul. Which Leliel must reap. Maybe. (In episode 1, she lost her powers). But those poor cops will be in for the shock of their lives when they see a decomposed body walking around and talking and…wow, that’s creepy and I kind of like it. 😉

How do the police find out? Someone calls them? Who? Rick’s hands are tied literally. Someone not there? Maybe the news guy. He’s been following them, thinking they’re off their rockers. That it cannot be true. So he calls the police once he 1) wets himself and 2)realizes what’s going on. That would effectively bring him back in. And the cops and so on.

I think Leliel having a distraction and then being able to fight it is a bit weak. So far in this series one of my themes is that love conquers all/love can save you. I think Rick needs to play a bigger role in her saving. Maybe a combination of both? Or have Samantha ignore everything and compel Leliel and then Rick gets untied and is able to get closer to her/talk to her/help her and THEN she’s able to fight it?

Good ideas so far I think. Something to work with, in any event.

Talking to myself yet again – Ilene and her Alpha “ability”

Sooooo I had my surgery on Feb 2nd and I am finally out of the splint and somewhat mobile after a week of being laid up.  Hated it and thought a lot about my writing, although I wasn’t really coherent enough to do anything about it (vicodin, yanno) and the #1 decision I made is to finish up Alpha Female.  So I had today off from work as well as tomorrow and I decided that since I’m supposed to be resting and bearing some weight on my ankle, might as well get some writing stuffs done.

Opened the AF document and tweaked a few sentences.  Reread the last scene and read my last “talking to myself” post.  And…went completely numb yet again.

I love the idea of there being an ability that’s the flipside of the Alpha Male madness — the “manipulation” aspect as I’ve been calling it.  I also like the two bonds going on.  But then I threw myself a curve ball, and I am still puzzling it out.  The idea that the Alpha Female can use the ability as Alpha Female but once she ceases being that, she loses the ability/memory of how to use it.  Okaaaay.  Easiest thing?  Change it.  Remove it altogether.

But I’ve never been one to go the easy route, or one to ignore something potentially cool that came from the Muse.  So let’s run with it, shall we?

And since I haven’t done a character convo in like forever, I think it’s time to do another one.  The character in question is Ilene, the former Alpha Female of the Pack and Luke, the male lead’s mother.  Natasha, Luke’s Alpha Female and the main character, has shown evidence that she’s possibly gained this ability, whatever it is, and needs to learn how to use it because otherwise her nemesis Delia could destroy her through a mental bond.

With me so far?

Okay, so Ilene doesn’t remember a whole lot about this ability for the aforementioned reason.  But I need to know what it is she does remember, and what she’s forgotten, and if this is a viable solution to Natasha’s problem.  Kind of big for a single line of text, but it might turn out to be cool.  Or not.  But I’m gonna figure this out.

*takes a deep breath*  *cracks knuckles*

ME: So, tell me about being the Alpha Female of the Pack.
Ilene: It’s an important job.  The Alpha pair sets the example and tone of how the Pack will function.
ME: That’s good.  I take it you were a good leader.  And you’re now the Pack healer.
Ilene: Correct.
ME: So what do you remember of this ability to manipulate your wolves?
Ilene:I know what it is.  It comes from the same place the Madness comes from.  It’s dark.  It’s not for evil Alpha Females, Alpha Females who want to completely control their wolves.  Tyrants.  Dictators.  It’s to keep the wolves in line, but with love and respect and goodness.  It just seems  like manipulation to some.  And then there’s keeping the ones in line that need it, like Delia.
ME: What is with this chick? She really has it out for Natasha.
Ilene: *nods* Oh yes.  She was sure she was going to be Luke’s Alpha Female.  It’s eating her alive.
ME: Truly.  So do you recall how it works?
Ilene: Through the bond.  Somehow.
ME: But you don’t recall how.
Ilene: It’s foggy.  I don’t believe it was harmful to the wolf it’s used on.  It can be if warranted, and that would need to be discussed, but an Alpha Female’s purpose is never to harm her wolves.
ME: What about the golden threads Natasha sees in her head?  Do those have anything to do with it?
Ilene: *nods* Possible.
ME: But not for sure.
Ilene: No.
ME: Any other stuff you remember, no matter how insignificant it might seem?
Ilene: Yes.  When Tasha saw Deliain her head, it pinged my brain a bit.
ME: Explain?
Ilene: It seemed familiar, as if maybe I’d had that happen to me as Alpha Female.  That might be a direction to investigate.
ME: But Tasha was hurt by that, horrifically (and SPOILER ALERT! there’s more coming! END SPOILER ALERT).  She can’t possibly have to use that to “manipulate” Delia.
Ilene: It’s a distinct possibility.
ME: What about psychic stuff?  Delia’s got something psychic going on.  Could this ability be psychic in nature?
Ilene: We as a race aren’t actully psychic, although we do use a basic form of telepathy when in wolf form.
ME: And the healing.
Ilene: Yes. 
ME: Could Luke healing Tasha have anything to do with this?  Would it give her more ..power, for lack of a better word, in this ability?
Ilene: It’s part of it, but it’s actually because she almost died once and actually died once.  It gave her an expanded awareness of her wolves on a totally different level. 
ME: Could her dying tie into the ability?  Kind of like necromancy?
Ilene: *looks baffled* I don’t think so.
ME: Necromancers don’t just raise the dead.  They communicate with the dead and can control the dead.  Could Tasha’s ability be a form of necromancy, except…it’s with living wolves?

NOTE: Now we’re on to something.

Ilene: I suppose that could be.  Don’t necromancers have an expanded awareness of the dead?
ME: Bingo.  So if we could treat this as a form of necromancy (Lupi-mancy?), maybe we could figure out how it works.
Ilene: I believe I might remember something.
ME: Tell me.
Ilene: Well…it’s the mind.  Tasha needs to connect with the mind.  Delia’s in wolf form, so it’s going to be harder since she’s not.  But that connection is key.
ME: I’m still thinking psychic.  Perhaps it’s sort of like a separate plane of existence?
Ilene: I’m not sure.  Just that it’s the mind.  Delia attacked Tasha there, and Tasha can attack or manipulate back using the same channels.  I’m almost sure of it.
ME: *smiles*  Well, I think we have a good chance of nailing this down.  Thank you so much.

So….in summary:

~It’s like necromancy except with wolves who are alive b/c of Tash’s brushes with death.  May allow her to communicate with/control/sense her wolves (“expanded sense of her wolves”)
~It’s connected to the mind.  That Natasha might be able to use the same channel, for lack of a better word, that Delia used to attack her.
~It might have something to do with the “golden threads” in Natasha’s head.
~It’s not meant to harm any wolves, but it is used to keep wolves in line.
~It’s not for “evil” Alpha Females who want to rule.

Soooooo lots to ponder, huh?

ETA: Notes: The life force or inner wolf could be the conduit for this manipulation.  Or something.

Talking to myself again

SPOILERS FOR ALPHA FEMALE AHEAD – Do not read if you want to read AF and want to be surprised.

Okay, here’s the deal.  In the current version of this pain in the ass novella that demands to be written Alpha Female, Natasha is attacked by Delia (her direct competition for Luke) and Delia poisons her.  Also, she was about to leave Luke and go home when she’s attacked.

I’ve had a few niggling issues with this.  At first I thought, ‘well…Natasha’s not good at relationships so her bailing makes sense’ but after rewriting a key scene which made it so Natasha doesn’t leave, I’m not sure how to bring in her getting poisoned.  First off, Luke wouldn’t let anyone but especially Delia near Natasha as he’s so protective of her.  I thought, ‘hey, what about that hunt scene you wanted to add?’ and then I got derailed because hello, it wouldn’t be safe for Natasha to be the only non-wolf amongst wolves, right?  She’d be vulnerable.  And she hasn’t been changed yet, so she can’t shift.  Although having her have the pain of a possible shift would be interesting.  Cuz yanno, the Pack would bring it on if she’s truly part Lupi.

So how could Natasha get attacked without it being made of fail?  Let’s see…brainstorm, godammit….

Party.  Someone lures Natasha away and Delia swipes her quickly with her claws.
Natasha tries to leave, and boom! Delia attacks her (the original plan, duh)
Hey.  Could Natasha leave the area (not to go home) — she needs some time alone or something.  Crap, I could even have er make contact with the other Covenant peeps and Alisia (her Queen) at the same time.  If Natasha snuck out, really stealthy-like (she is an assassin, after all), and Luke’s distracted by something or someone, and her bodyguard is also distracteed (too easy?) and it takes a few seconds tops for Delia to fly by in wolf form and swipe her and promptly disappear….

Hmmm.  I has problems.  Luke wouldn’t let himself get distracted.  What could take him (and the bodyguard) out of the picture?  Something else, a Pack fight, something to mediate, something that needs doing right now and he just has to leave.  But he’d have someone watch Natasha.

It’s to damn bad that Natasha can’t be invisible.  Unfortunately, I can’t bring that in because, hello, her people don’t have that ability.  I could play it like the assassins have mastered their glamour ability and appear to be invisible, but it’s actually camoflage.  But that begs the question — why hasn’t she used this ability before?  You’d think she’d use it to get away from Luke.  Then again, she prolly couldn’t in the Between, and then after that she was among everyone and there was no way to escape…could that work?  Yeah, but wanting to leave and escaping would be so much easier if she’s invisible.  Right?

But wait.  Aren’t glamour abilities lessened in our world?  Because of the truce?  Maybe she doesn’t think it would work, and then she tries, and then she’s standing there, seemingly safe, and she’s talking to her people, and bam! Delia attacks her.  This assumes that she decides to go visible again, and wouldn’t she want to stay invisible?

Maybe it stops working once she’s touched by anyone or anything.  Maybe that’s a limitation.  But Delia would need to suspect that she’s there to actually know where to start running.  Unless she sees Natasha leave, then seemingly disappear, and is really curious and sort of deduces that she’s somewhere nearby.

Ugh, I don’t effin know.