Tag Archives: Survivor endgame

The end of Survivor that I am currently writing.

Lady Strange.

It’s a song byDef Leppard, off of their High ‘n’ Dry album (loooong time ago), and I’ve had it in my head all evening.

In connection with Soulfire, which is still simmering in my head.

It’ll be awhile before I can get to it, but that’s okay.

I think Survivor has the potential to be done within a week or so, if I hit it hard.  The wrist has been giving me issues, so that may slow me down some.  After that, it’s Pirouette the Third.  I’m letting that simmer as well. Less than five months to go and I’ve made really good progress.

*pats self on back*

Status update

Wedding and honeymoon was wonderful.  I only wish I could be on vacation more often!

Did not bring Flamebound because my printer is on the blitz.  I wouldn’t have had much time, anyways — the beloved hubby kept me very busy.

Survivor is still progressing.  When I got home from vacay, I had a seriously difficult time getting back into the swing of things.  I was totally blocked and feeling out of sorts.  But I tried and little by little, it got easier.  Inspiration always helps. 

It’s almost to the end.  Almost.

Pirouette is definitely going to need another major revision.  Based on current feedback, the ending is pretty strong — it’s the beginning and middle that meanders a bit (okay, alot).  I’ll need to cut another 42k.  I can do this.  Along with that, I’m about to start replotting the parts I’m revising.  I definitely need a roadmap here.  I can’t pants it — I need to get this done as quickly as I can.  Because the objective is to get it out the door this year.  Obviously, I’m not going to half-ass it.  But I’m also not going to meander.  It needs to be solid and an improvement.

Which is kind of a tall order.  But I have faith in myself.  I’m not sure if this will be the last draft.  I’m committed to doing as many drafts as it needs.  I also have a better idea of my weaknesses.  And my strengths.  So it’s just a matter of pulling it all together into a cohesive draft.

I just finishing reading Wicked Lovely by Melissa Marr.  I usually don’t read YA, but this one caught my eye.  Well, I read it in 24 hours.  So, yeah, it was GOOD.  I especially like the ending, which I’m not giving away.  I will be buying the second and third books for sure. 

Also thinking about getting my website back up and running.  So lots of stuff happening.

Pantsing it. And an update.

That’s what I’ve been doing for the past few weeks with Survivor — I know exactly where I want to end up, but I’m taking a few little detours and letting my muse play a bit.  It’s been interesting, to say the least.  I made yet another complication to the main character’s recovery.  I don’t know alot about deprogramming someone who’s been brainwashed, but between my own research and a friend’s help, I have an idea, and that’s enough for now.  Because the condition is fictional, loosely based on a real one, I think I can improvise a bit with it.

I’m very close to the end.  I don’t think I can get it finished before the wedding, but after I get back from my honeymoon, I think I have a good chance of doing it then. 

Also, I’m bringing Flamebound with me on vacay, in case I have some time to write.  I doubt that will happen, but hey — you just never know.  And I can’t imagine not writing for a whole week.  😦  I need to do something, even if it’s another read through and making comments.  Got to feel productive.

Flamebound will be undergoing yet another rewrite.  I’m still targeting it to Nocturne Bites, and if the changes I plan on making work, it might end up the right wordcount for them (15k).  If not, there are other e-publishers that take novellas.

What else?  I’m starting to get nervous about the wedding.  Not so much “what am I doing?!” nerves, more like anxiety that something’s going to go wrong.  I just want a smooth day.  It doesn’t need to be perfect, but I want it to be a close to perfect as possible.

Also considering my next big project.  I have something in mind and what publisher I will be targeting.  It’s Soulfire, of course.  I’m pretty excited about that.

Pirouette is being critted by 6 people.  I hope to have the crits back within the next few months so if there are changes needed, I can make them and get it out the door.  Very exciting to be this close.

Okay, well I probably won’t be back till after the honeymoon.  So, wish me luck and I’ll see you on the other side.

Writing and rewriting…at the same time.

Ok, before you think I’m crazy, hear me out.  I’ve been working on Survivor since finishing Pirouette on May 21st, and my crazy  muse inssted that I needed to add a new scene into the rewrite file.  In the original, a certain character is introduced in chapter 3 or 4.  My muse says that she should be introduced sooner — like, right away.  And the scene was vivid and so there that I decided to break down and do it.  And, the crazy part is, I’m considering continuing the rewrite with some new ideas I have.

While finishing up the endgame.

Yeppers.  Both.  Simultaneously.  I must be insane.

So there’s that.  Next up is the Flamebound rewrite (ha!) which I might try to sneak in on my vacation.  It seems to be becoming a yearly tradition.  Write while vacationing.  Maybe I can break my current record of 17k in one week.

I’ve got roughly 5k written on the endgame.  It’s been going a bit slow, mainly because I am plotting as I go.  No formal outline, yikes.  But it feels right, so I’m going with it.  And I’m not putting pressure on myself.  I’m 25 days from my wedding (!!!!) and work is nuts, and I finished Pirouette two weeks early and I really don’t want to stress myself out.  So I’ll probably continue like this till after the wedding, after which I’ll kick it up into high gear.

I anticipate about 10k or so to the end.  I’ve been in this place before, but the ending ended up being farther than I thought.  So now, I believe I’m actually there.

I started this book as part of a writing class at Forward Motion 5 years ago.  I kept putting it aside (Pirouette ate my life, quite literally) for other things, thinking it was too complex, too much work, yadda yadda yadda.  Well last year, I decided that enough was enough.  It’s brilliant, at least in my opinion, and there’s a small chance I might split it into 3 books: Stranger, Endgame, and Ghost.  The Survivor trilogy.  I’m not sure how easy or hard it would be to sell that way, but the entire thing is about 225k right now.  I have some ideas on cuts, so we’ll see, but the possibility is there. 

So that’s where I’m at.


Pirouette is officially done!!!!   I just finished the final edit 2 days ago.  It feels really strange to not be working on it.  I’ve worked on it for almost 5 months solid.  Now, I’m thinking, now what?  It’s out to my critiquers, so now I just have to wait to see what they say.

Currently, I believe it’s good, but not necessarily ready to submit.  Why?  Because there are things that I’m not sure about, bu I didn’t want to get into an endless loop of rewriting/editing, and some of it just might be me.  I can’t be objective any more.  After a total of 5 passes, I’m not even sure what end is up.  So that’s why I need critiquers. To show me where I may have faultered, to assure me about things that might be okay.  So, after I get the crits back, and if there are things that need to be addressed, I will do another edit/rewrte/whatever.  For now, I’m going to try to put it out of my mind.

But, I am glad that it’s finally done.  Never thought I’d get here.  One step closer.

Next project up is Survivor, which I promised myself I would try and finish.  Right now, I’m currently dead stuck on a plot point.  I’ve been thinking about it for the past two days, wanting to write again, but not feeling quite ready.  So my plan is to break out the Tarot and do a reading.  A bit unusual, but I think that’s what I need.  Something to wake my sleeping muse.  I think she thinks it’s vacation time or something.

I also have two plotbunnies nipping at my heels.  I promised myself one new project this year, so I have to choose between them.  One is a paranormal romance, Soulfire.  It’s going to be reworked.  What I got so far is really cool, and I’m dying to start writing.

The other one, I Wake Up Alone, is based on a poem I wrote a few years back.  A situation in my real life prompted this poem and an idea to combine and it turned into a really cool concept.  I’m thinking novella length.  I’m also trying to decide if it ends happily (which would make it paranormal romance) or a bit sadly (which would make it straight horror).  I blame TV tropes for this, because I discovered that there are about a zillion ways to end a book/novella.  Mercy me, as Alisia would say.

And finally, here are my final ending stats for Pirouette:

Type in attempts: 3
On manuscript page: 729
Scenes rewritten: 21
Scenes cut: 18
Scenes added: 7
Scene re-rewrites attempted: 3
Final wordcount: 141k
Sanity level: 99.9%

I’m happy, and I’m looking forward to the future.


I’m into the type-in now, and it’s been killing me.  Sounded like the easiest part, just type in the changes, right?  Wrong!  Not when you’re still not sure if your scenes have enough conflict, or if some scenes don’t do anything for the story (yes, I’m still finding those this late in the game) or if you’re questioning everything from characters to plot to descriptions.  In short, I’m having second (third?) thoughts.

What’s weird is that I was fine through the 2nd pass, and fine through chapter 3.  Then I hit a wall that I can’t seem to get over.  I had a filler scene that was, plot-wise, useless, so out it went.  Then I started thinking.  One part of it was a revelation for the male lead (one teeny tiny part — like, three sentences) so I decided to add a scene where he has this revelation, and ramp up the conflict.  Unfortunately, that scene led to some changes, and I’m not sure I want to go that far.  And, I’ve rewritten the thing at least 4 times.  Just ain’t working.

Since this is my first time doing this, I have no idea if it’s normal.  I’m trying to stop my Inner Editor from tearing me to shreds.  It hasn’t been easy.  I haven’t been feeling very well for the past week and that’s colored my opinions.  But I’ve been staying strong, and trying to be positive–that no matter what, I WILL end up with a better story.  Granted, it may take more time, possibly, but it WILL happen and I WILL start submitting it.  It’s just been a looooong time since I wrote first draft words, and I’m starting to really feel it.  And rewriting, for my purposes, doesn’t count.  😦  Sooooo soon I’ll be starting on Survivor again.

So that’s where I’m at.  Desperately trying to keep my head above water and sane while I finish this type in.  I’m hoping this is it, save for one final edit.  But time will tell.

Strength.  Gotta have strength.  All along, I’ve been saying that  believe, with everything in me, that I can make this happen.  That I can make my dream come true.  That belief has kept me from giving it up, or taking long breaks.  It’s what makes me produce so consistantly.  I HAVE to do this.  Otherwise, I’m just not myself, and I feel it deeply.

Soooooo I’m working on it.  Things might get tough, but that’s okay.  What doesn’t kill you to write makes you a stronger writer.  You heard it here first.  😉

Status: depressed and confused

That about sums it up.  The 2nd pass went wonderfully until I went to rewrite the big fight scene — the climax of the entire book — and rewrote it about 5 times.

I suck at fight scenes. 

Intellectually, I understand the mechanics of it, but when I try to write it, it comes out wrong.  I mean, really wrong.  It’s actually kind of scary.

But there is a ray of hope: I used to have the same problem with sex scenes.  And I’ve pretty much conquered that, through practice and sheer will alone, so perhaps this will be the same.  Maybe it will take awhile but it will work out.  Problem is, while I’m angsting about this, time is slipping by.  I have a second scene to rewrite, but that’s it –and the type in.  I feel at loose ends right now — I decided to take a mini break that became a real break when I got sick, and now after about 3 days, I’m twitchy as hell.  I even considered starting a new project, totally on the fly and without an outline, just to make the feeling go away.  And remember, except for the scenes I’ve rewritten in Pirouette, I haven’t done any real writing.  I’m going to remedy that soon with Survivor — but not yet.

There are some personal things weighing on my mind as well, which haven’t helped matters.  I use writing to get away from it all, but if I can’t write…well…..it has to go somewhere.  Usually, it’s within.  But I’m okay.  This too shall pass.

Read Flamebound for the first time since finishing it on Dec 19th.  Oh boy.  It’s going to need ALOT of plot work.  Everything else is pretty solid.  I might lengthen it and submit it elsewhere first.  Because there’s no way I can cut it down 15k.  Well I could, but I don’t think it would do the story justice.  And it’s all about the story.

So that’s where I’m at.  Hoping things improve.  Hoping I can write again soon.

2008 in Review

Happy New Year to everyone.  I thought I’d reflect back on this year and talk about what I accomplished. 

The biggie of the year was finishing the Pirouette Rewrite on June 14th, which made it just under a year since I started it.  I managed to do that amid severe tendonitis, back-to-back surgeries (parents, not me, but still), learning and training and using voice recognition, and health issues.  For me, finishing it in 11 months was a bit of a miracle.  Starting tomorrow, I will be revising and polishing it.

I wrote just under 50k new words on Survivor.  I’d wanted to finish the first draft, but that didn’t happen.  Even so, Survivor is getting very close to the end.  My second priority in the new year is to finish it, give it the attention it deserves.  It’s been languishing waaay too long.

I wrote (and rewrote) Flamebound, the novella.  It, too, needs a revision and polish.  I hope to get that out the door in the new year, too.

I started my first contemporary romance, Like Summer, based on a short story I wrote many moons ago.  It’s on hold at the moment, because I’m not sure if contemporary romance is my thing.  We’ll see. 

I participated in NaNoWriMo, even though I didn’t plan on it, and ended with 54k.  And attempted to write a comedy, but being me, that just ain’t happening, but the book is quite unique and dark.  Just like me.  😉  It’s kind of my experimental draft for an e-course I’ve been in since July.  It’s called “How to Think Sideways” given by the talented and wonderful Holly Lisle.  What a course!!!!!  It’s funny, I’d worked up a few ideas for the course and had one set to go…..and then the one for Hereafter hit me upside the head after a stressful day at work.  It turned out waaay different than I could have imagined, and that’s okay, because damn it, I like surprises.

I beat my previous writing record for one week.  The record was 12,000, and I wrote it while on vacation using my Alphasmart Dana.  This year, I had to stay home due to severe burstitis, and I ended up with 17k.  I also pretty much began and finished Flamebound’s first draft that week.

I survived severe tendonitis and severe burstitis, both of which threatened to screw with my writing.  Not so.  I managed to produce despite all of that, and I’m damn proud of that.

Lastly, I’m finishing out the year with approximately 290k.  Could have made 300k, but this month has been rough for me in terms of time and motivation (yes, even I am sometimes unproductive.  Go fig).  But 290k is spectacular!!!!  Especially considering everything that happened this year.

Oh, and I moved into an apartment with my fiance.  That was another thing that halted the writing (and caused the burstitis, grrrr). 

I critted a few great novels, and I’m working on a few more. 

I discovered the shininess that is the band Nightwish, and I LOVE them.  And I’m still in love with Queensryche, fyi.

So alot has happened.  Alot has gotten done.  I’ve survived some big challenges, and I thank God for my intense drive to succeed and my motivation.  That’s one thing that I have that lot of people don’t: I’m driven to the point of obcession.  I have to do well, if not be the best.  I have to make my dreams reality.  Because if I don’t, what is life really worth?  Sure, I have family and friends and a wonderful fiance, but I would always wonder what if?  And yearn for what I didn’t have, what I didn’t try to attain.  I can’t imagine going through life never reaching for my dreams, never accomplishing anything of value.  It just isn’t in my makeup.

True immortality: writing.  I hope to God that I will get published and have my writing read by generations of people for many years to come.  If I keep working hard, it will be a reality.

See ya on the other side.

Status update

Just wanted to talk about my progress.  It’s been going pretty well.  I finished the first edit of the Pirouette Rewrite and have made notes.  Cut a few scenes and have a few more that might be on the chopping block.  I’ll have to see.

I’m using Holly Lisle’s One Pass Revision process, a first for me, and I’m a bit nervous.  This is my very first actual revision.  And this story is dear to my heart.  I want to do it justice.

One thing I noticed was that I’d forgotten some of the nuances and scenes.  Which is good, because it means that I had enough time to get enough distance.  They say that you should leave it long enough so it feels new.  And it did.  I’m also blown away by some of it — I automatically assume my first drafts stink (I’m very hard on myself), and this just proves that I don’t suck.  There are always issues, yea, I’m not perfect, but it’s better than I thought.  And that feels good.

Flamebound is back in action and I’m going to finish it either tonight or tomorrow.

Hereafter is on hold at the moment.  I might write it concurrently with the Revision, if the Revision doesn’t devour me whole.

I also made some notes on Blood Dance, Pirouette’s sequel.  It’s going to be good

So that’s where I’m at right now.  Things are going wonderfully, and I feel good about next year.


The rewrite of the ending of Flamebound is going well.  I only wrote 350 words, but it’s ok.  Hopefully tonight I can pound some more out.
NaNo plans!
I’m writing a comedy/mystery/horror crossover called Hereafter.  It’s about this girl who dies and ends up trapped in Hell, except that Hell is an adminstrative office for the Record of Sins and she can see things others can’t.  There’s a conspiracy.  Some evil people.  Incubus twins.  Romance.  And….funny stuff.
Those who know me know that I’m a very dark, serious kind of person.  I do joke around, and when I do, it’s cool, but I’ve always sat on the side of seriousness.  I’ve been accused of having no sense of humor.  Soooooo it’s highly questionnable that I can pull off a comedy, but my crazy muse pointed out that I can be funny — when I stop censoring everything that comes out of my mouth.  So we’ll see.  If the comedy thing doesn’t work, no big.  But I think it would be great fun.
I’m also looking to spread my wings a bit, try something new.  I’ve written dark stuffs for a long time.  I want something a bit more lighthearted and fun.  Again, questionnable on the Pull Off Scale, but I will try!
I originally wasn’t going to do NaNo, due to the sheer number of unfinished projects I’ve got clamoring for my attention.  But NaNo comes once a year, and I look forward to it like Christmas.  I missed it last year, because of the Rewrite of Doom, but hell, I can spare 30 days.  Especially if it’s fun, because lately I’ve been a ball of stress.
The plan through the end of the year:
~Finish Flamebound, preferably before NaNo
~Get FB critted/beta’d, start on next draft
~NaNo: work on Hereafter
~Either do NaNoFimo and finish Hereafter OR finish Survivor (which is really tempting)
Plans for 2009:
~Finish Survivor if I haven’t already
~Start submitting Flamebound
~Finish Edit 1 of Pirouette the Rewrite and start the One-Pass Revision Process
~FINISH Pirouette and submit it to someone (after crits/beta-ing of course, and possibly a few more drafts)
~Finish up Hereafter if not done yet
~Write new novel of some sort.  Or novella.  Something.
So that’s what’s shaking and baking.  Stay tuned.
 I’m going to try to keep a regular record of how I’m doing here, plus post some excerpts.  I think this is going to rock.