The winner is……..
Wonderer, send me your shipping information. I’ll try to get the chapbook out to you this week.
Everyone, thanks for playing.
The winner is……..
Wonderer, send me your shipping information. I’ll try to get the chapbook out to you this week.
Everyone, thanks for playing.
Yeah, just moving along. I’ve worked mostly on Alpha Female, except for one day when I got really, really stuck and couldn’t conceive the notion of writing. I thought about it instead. That day — I don’t remember which — I worked on the Pirouette notecards. I also gave some thought to my second chapbook that’s releasing April 1st from Turtleduck Press. Working title is Without Wings, and it’s all love poetry. I’ve been trying to get myself to write more happy poems because the happy ones I have are of inferior quality and the better quality ones are mostly sad. I’m not sure I want to have a whole collection of sad poetry, so it’s time to write some happy poems. But, unfortunately, the muse isn’t cooperating.
Last time I wrote a poem was last year for Life as a Moving Target. I actually wrote 3, 2 of which are included. The other, Insignificant, will be in the second chapbook. But as much as I try, I can’t get into the proper mindset.
I used to freewrite alot and then turn it into poetry. I wrote alot. I still have alot of my drafts. I’m considering using some of those as jumping off points for the new poems. I have a list of lines in my iPhone, but they are all for the third chapbook, Don’t Close Your Eyes. I wish my muse would just throw me a bone.
Anyhoo, so that’s what I’ve been doing. Slowed down some on Alpha Female, but today I was able to work through the block. It’s still not perfect, but good enough for now. I’d like to finish it by the end of the month. I should be able to do that still.
What got me so stuck? Werewolf pack rules and werewolf fight scenes. Yep, that was my undoing. And I decided to use something from the original draft (nothing is ever wasted) so that was an added bonus. I still have a few things to clear up and a plausible way for the ending to happen, and another edit, and then I think I can call it done.
This has been a very insightful experience.
Also, one of the winners of my giveaway hasn’t contacted me so I’m re-drawing a new name tomorrow. If you weren’t part of the first, comment here (with an email address or you will be disqualified) and I will add you to my original list. Those of you who were part of the original giveaway are still eligible for the re-draw so no need to add your name again.
My bad. I meant to update every day or every few days and I kind of dropped the ball here. I lost 2 days due to being sick. The others I worked on the Alpha Female revision. I’m actually almost to the end of the draft and have discovered that I’ll need to rewrite most of it. That’s a good thing and a bad thing. There is a lot wrong with the end. It needs to go in a different direction. I also have a few more tricks up my sleeve. The actual ending is kick ass. It’s just that what comes before sucks.
There, I said it.
Little bit of work on the Pirouette notecarding. A few awesome first lines came to me a few days ago at work (where else?) so I’m kind of excited about that. Still fending off the plotbunny from hell. I now have a kick ass first line.
“I tried to cheat Death once. Instead, I became Death.”
Doesn’t that just give you shivers?
In chapbook news, I’m pulling names tomorrow. If you want to be in on it, comment to this post or my status on Facebook. The short version is that 2 people will win a signed copy of Life as a Moving Target before it releases on Dec. 1st.
We go live in 2 1/2 weeks. I still have some stuff to finish up on the website. A “behind the scenes” page that will contain the first draft of the opening poem and a few that didn’t make the chapbook cut. Also, a bit about how the chapbook came to be, what inspired particular poems. So if you end up reading it and want to know more, stop by my website after release. Dec 1st. Got that? Good.
I officially finished it Thursday, and it came in at 27k, just 2k over what I needed. It is now with a trusted beta reader, who’ll give me the lowdown on what’s working and what’s not working, and I’ll have less than 2 weeks to do a revision plus a 5-page synopsis.
I must be crazy.
Actually, while I’m still actively trying to make that deadline, it’s not a huge thing. I mainly wanted to see if I was capable of producing something on a deadline. And I pretty much did, for the most part. It’s going to depend on what my beta reader says, because I’ve lost all objectivity. So, I gotta wait for that.
Pirouette is next up, particularly finishing the notecards and rewriting the first few scenes. Beyond that, it’s just tearing through the manuscript much how I did with Alpha Female, except on a bigger scale. I’m worried that I won’t nail it, and I simultaneously believe that I can. Which will win out? I has no clue.
The website is almost finished — at least the writing section, anyway. That needs to be done before Life as a Moving Target launches on December 1st. I have a few things planned for that so stay tuned.
Life as a Moving Target is almost ready to go on sale. I have a second proof ordered and if it’s good, then it’ll go on sale with the other Turtleduck books on Dec. 1st. It’s so exciting, seeing it in print, something I never thought would come true. I’ve gotten some wonderful support and encouragement on it so far, and that’s so important as the subject is so personal to me. All in all, I believe this is going to work out nicely.
It’s after midnight as I type this, but I still consider it Oct. 16th until I wake up in the morning. It’s a weird quirk of mine. So….today was not only Sweetest Day, but it was the 1-year anniversary of the day the family drama began, and my life, as I knew it, changed irrevocably. The person who caused it still remains out of my life, although I still think about this person and what this person did almost daily. It’s not enough to say that I’m hurt, or angry. I’m livid. Still a bit numb, even after all this time. My world hasn’t quite gotten back on track and I’m still feeling pretty dark and empty inside.
I don’t even know what to say. Except there are poems in this. They’ve been whispering in my ears for months,waiting patiently for me to put them to paper.
In other news, I’m now in a cast because my foot doc feels that immobilization of the joint might do the trick. I’ve never been in a cast before, so it’s been a real interesting — and frustrating — experience. Exhausting, too. I went downstairs to my office for the first time in 4 days and was terrified the entire trip up and down. I did it twice today, and I feel more stable. But dang, it’s tiring. Especially going up.
I hope this is it.
Also, I got hit with a doozy of a plotbunny. I’m not even going to speak of it, because evey time I even think about it, it grows. Halloween is perfect timing, but I’m standing firm on my no new projects decision for the rest of the year. It’s going to have to wait, and so will my mini-Nano. There’s always next year, right?
So that’s what’s happening here. I’m so excited about everything. I can hardly stand it. 🙂
I spent 2 days being stuck on Alpha Female. I knew what would happen in the climax, but not how to get from where I was to that. I needed more to happen before that. And I’m still unsure of when the physical intimacy between Natasha and Luke is going to take place.
But…..I got 1,167 words and I’m almost to 18k, the point where I was when I restarted. I estimate I’ll need another week to finish, putting me at mid-September and giving me two extra weeks to revise. It has to go out to beta readers first, though.
How did I get unstuck? That’s a damn good question. I thought about it alot. I played out different scenarios in my head. I let my subconscious mull it over. But I was in the shower when it came together. The shower is the best place for getting ideas. At least for me.
I was considering doing some freewriting if nothing tore loose. Since I’m on a tight deadline, I couldn’t afford to lose another day. Luckily, I wrote over 2k and then got stuck, and today I wrote over quota (800 words) so I’m about where I should be.
This is the dark side of pantsing. While it’s fantastic when it works, it can be really difficult when it doesn’t. But I’ve learned over time to not force it. To let it percolate and gel and come together inside my head. Some of it I can see in my head or hear like overheard conversation. I just had to wait it out. And I was rewarded.
If I hadn’t, then I would have started poking at it. But luckily, it never got to that point. Crisis averted.
I’m still a bit foggy on a few things, but I know enough to move forward.
On the website front (yeah, I’m redesigning it yet again to coincide with the launch of Life as a Moving Target), I’m looking at some new options that will make life a bit easier for me. I’m self-taught and my skills are basically obsolete. So it’s been fun trying to get my head around newer ideas. But it is coming along.
Also took some pictures the other day at a lake. First time in I don’t know how long. I’m proud of myself. Naturally, it all came back, and I used my black&white mode, too (even though generally I shoot true b&w — that is, film) and I think I might have a few contenders for the cover for the chapbook. I would like to use one of my own pictures if possible.
So things are coming along, if slowly. I’ve been incredibly tired lately, which I suspect is the fibromyalgia, and that’s been a bit of a problem. But I persevere. Hopefully I’ll have more things to share soon.
I tried, I really did, but the timing just isn’t right for Soulfire. I’d suspected it, and fought it, but there it is. So, it’s official. I’m switching back to Pirouette the Third for the rest of the year.
A few days ago, I realized that I was blocked. And I was in denial. So I listened to Holly Lisle’s Beating Writer’s Block audio book and did a few of the exercises. I discovered a couple of things. 1) That the timing was all wrong. 2) I was, deep down inside, pressuring myself too much to produce. 3) I felt guilty for putting Pirouette the Third aside, even though I’d convinced myself that I needed a break. And 4) I’d made some changes to Soulfire early on and my muse was fighting them. But when I tried to work on it without those changes, I couldn’t do it. I was stuck. But I seemed okay to work on Pirouette the Third, so heck, I’ll take anything I can get at this point, as long as it’s not nothing.
Yeah, seems I can pressure myself without even realizing it. And in the wake of the family drama, I need to be gentle to myself. I’m not a writing machine. I can produce. But I can’t force something to come just to say that I’ve done it, or to win Nanowrimo. I need time to heal. If that means that Soulfire has to be put aside, then so be it. I considered taking a 2-week break from writing, but decided to give it a shot. It’s working so far. Slowly. Yesterday I wrote 288 words, and today I wrote 519. No. Pressure.
Unforgiven is still niggling at me. I have no idea what to do with it. I don’t want to overdo things, but the idea is really compelling. Part of the problem is that I have an inciting incident and a vague idea of a few things, but nothing really definite. That’s never stopped me before (remember Requiem in Blue?) but this one, since it’s somewhat a new genre for me (thriller), and it’s personal, needs special attention. So I guess we’ll see.
I feel good about the decisions I’ve made, almost at peace. And right now, peace is a commodity. Maybe by the end of the year I’ll have had made good progress on Pirouette the Third and maybe can start submitting it. No pressure, of course. Just would be nice.
Going to also be working more on my website. I need to get at least the Writer side completed. Stay tuned.
Making very slow progress on Pirouette the Third. I’ve been ripping it apart, deleting scenes or condensing them, and rewriting others. I’ve got it down to 117k which is really cool.
I’m focusing on Alisia and Lucien’s relationship arc, as well as the subplot. I realized that I may not have been as brutal as I should have been when I did the One Pass Revision. I also found out some big flaws (thanks to my critiquers) that needed fixing. But that’s okay, because I want it to be stronger, and it will be when I’m done.
I like what I’m getting.
Although sometimes it feels like I’m juggling three balls.
As for Soulfire, got a tentative plot in mind and things are starting to gel. I’m very happy about that. I have a possible first line, and the theme song. And a 73-song playlist. The theme song is Baba O’Riley by The Who. I realized that it could be a metaphor for the future dystopic Earth I’m creating. That really made my day.
Nanowrimo in 19 days. I can’t wait.
Also did a major overhaul on my website yet again. This version is simpler and cleaner, and I love it. Check it out at http://www.erinkendall.com. Most of the links aren’t live yet, however. The Writer link is.
And lastly, I’m beginning to have problems with my wrist again. So it looks like I’ll be voice reccing Nano again. Was hoping to avoid that, but hey, I’m glad it’s possible. I still have a good chance of getting 50k that way.
So that’s what’s going on.
Wedding and honeymoon was wonderful. I only wish I could be on vacation more often!
Did not bring Flamebound because my printer is on the blitz. I wouldn’t have had much time, anyways — the beloved hubby kept me very busy.
Survivor is still progressing. When I got home from vacay, I had a seriously difficult time getting back into the swing of things. I was totally blocked and feeling out of sorts. But I tried and little by little, it got easier. Inspiration always helps.
It’s almost to the end. Almost.
Pirouette is definitely going to need another major revision. Based on current feedback, the ending is pretty strong — it’s the beginning and middle that meanders a bit (okay, alot). I’ll need to cut another 42k. I can do this. Along with that, I’m about to start replotting the parts I’m revising. I definitely need a roadmap here. I can’t pants it — I need to get this done as quickly as I can. Because the objective is to get it out the door this year. Obviously, I’m not going to half-ass it. But I’m also not going to meander. It needs to be solid and an improvement.
Which is kind of a tall order. But I have faith in myself. I’m not sure if this will be the last draft. I’m committed to doing as many drafts as it needs. I also have a better idea of my weaknesses. And my strengths. So it’s just a matter of pulling it all together into a cohesive draft.
I just finishing reading Wicked Lovely by Melissa Marr. I usually don’t read YA, but this one caught my eye. Well, I read it in 24 hours. So, yeah, it was GOOD. I especially like the ending, which I’m not giving away. I will be buying the second and third books for sure.
Also thinking about getting my website back up and running. So lots of stuff happening.
I’m about 60% finished with the revision. I’ve been having some crisis of faith lately. Like, how am I really doing? Is it any better, or, God forbid, is it worse? And what about the scenes I cut? The scenes I’ve revised and rewritten look pretty good, so I’m not as concerned about that. But, it still niggles at me.
Been doing ALOT of research on agents. I have 7 so far on my list, and I’m reading 3 agent blogs to stay on top of things. Granted, Pirouette might not be ready for a while yet, but I want to be prepared so I can get it out the door as soon as possible after it’s finished. I just hope that I can make this happen. I’m willing to work my patootie off. I’ve spent the past 18 days working on the revision, every day except one, and on some days, that’s all I do when I come home from work. But that’s okay. I want this, and it will be worth it.
Another project I’d like to get out the door is Life as a Moving Target, my poetry chapbook. There are a few contests with late March deadlines. In February I’ll take a look at the manuscript and do edits, and add in the 2 poems I wrote late last year, and send it off.
I also just started my first b&w project (photography) in probably forever. Even used my older automatic film camera. I’m very old school about it sometimes. There’s nothing like darkroom, and actually shooting on film. I love digital, but that to me comes first.
And along with that is my 2009 website revamp. To include a writing website off the main one. I think it’s time I expand it more. In preparation for the agent hunt and all that. 😉
One year ago, on Easter Sunday, I started this blog. It has had more than 1000 visitors since then. 🙂
Granted, Easter was in April last year, but let’s just pretend this is April. Thank you. 🙂
Pirouette is up to 132k and growing. I’ve entered the final third of the book, and I’m hoping to finish in by May (to coincide with the end of 70 days of Sweat). I’ve been primarily voice reccing it, but this week, I switched back to typing because my wrist has been fine. I imagine I’ll have to do more voice than typing overall, but that’s ok. At least I can produce during my flare-ups.
Been doing alot of thinking about themes. Because I’d like to try to work them into the next draft. The original theme was redemption. It still is. But I’ve added a few more to that: silencing the ghosts, balance, and tough choices. Alisia has to deal with all of these at some point in the book. I want this book to go deeper than just the surface story. I want it to resonate, man.
Also considering what comes after I finish the draft. I might take a few weeks off and work on something else, to give myself distance. That something else will prolly be Survivor, because it’s nearly done and next on my list. It has been calling to me for about a year now, and I miss it terribly. It’s one of my strongest stories.
Another book has called to me, too. So strongly that I saw the opening scene in my head vividly. It’s Darkweaver. Wynd, the protagonist, has been pitching a fit in my head. I keep telling her to wait her turn, but she’s a persistant little wench. I might at some point write that first scene just to shut her up.
Something that’s been on my mind (if that isn’t enough, LOL) is Pirouette’s sequel, Blood Dance. I have two potential plots that I’m trying to work out. One will be the plot, and the other will be held back for a future book. One involves a very unique type of mating and the other involves doppelgangers and insanity. I wish I could do both, but the book would be mammoth. So I gotta figure that out, too, so I can put together an outline.
And finally, I am happy to report that I’m back in the the darkroom. Last weekend I took the plunge and developed a roll of film. It was not without trouble, mind you — it’s been about two years — but I’m proud to say that it came out beautifully, and so did the resulting prints. It’s my goal to get my backlog done before I move in June, as well as try out another type of infrared film. Infrared film is a special kind of film that makes everything glow, plants turn white, and people’s skin becomes translucent. It’s really neat, and tough to use/process but it is SO worth it. My favorite kind, Kodak HIE, has been discontinued, so I found a comparable type: Rollei 400. And I’m going to buy some and run some tests. If it works, I’ll continue to use it, and do more shooting.
It feels good to have my hand in photography again. I’m also updating my website, putting up new pictures and redesigning the pages. It’s very outdated. And, I want to be able to show possible editors of photo mags current stuffs.
So that’s my grande plan. Muhaaaaa.
On 70 Days of Sweat, I’m up to 16,640 words. Not bad for 22 days, eh? And most were dictated, too.
Happy Easter to everyone.