Tag Archives: Pirouette 1.0

My magnum opus. A dark fantasy about a ballerina turned vampire, fate, and a centuries-long war. This is the first draft. It is about to undergo major reconstructive surgery.

#ROW80 Check-in 11/8/15 – Nanoing

Yep, here we are again!

I am still working on Ever Touched for NanoWriMo, and I’m just shy of 10k now. It’s been a bit rough. I think time away from this particular world has diluted it in my head, and also the characters. It hasn’t been that long, but long enough for me to notice subtle things.

Usually until I hit 10k I am floundering (except with Fey Touched — that book was the exception to the rule) and since I’m pantsing it, doubly so. I have a general idea of what I’m heading for, but no details as to how, and I feel a bit panicky about it. I think it may be because it will be intended for publication, and it’s the third book in a series, and I’ve never written a third book in a series ever. So more often than not I have had to force myself to write, which isn’t as fun, but that’s my only option.

NanoWriMo for many years has been absolute magic for me. But for the first time, I’m feeling a bit strange. Like I’m not doing this right. It can’t be the 30k goal, because I’ve done that many times. I’m not sure if it’s just nerves, or working on this book in particular, but there it is. But I am sticking with it until the end, and I may feel differently later. Perhaps.


Words written: 9,180
Words remaining: 20,820
Word wars: 6
Word wars with myself: 2
Chapters written: 1
What’s happening: An uncomfortable conversation
What’s next: Hell if I know
Feeling: Strange

I have also been rereading a book of mine I began waaaaaaay back in 2005 (!) that I want to submit to a publisher early next year. I’ve rewritten it 4 times already over the past 10 years (scary, huh?) and I set it aside in 2011 to write Fey Touched. (I was getting absolutely nowhere and was ready to hang it up completely when some writer friends suggested I do this). So I’ve been terrified to even look at it again. But it’s one of my best stories, with two of my favorite characters and one of the scariest villains I’ve ever written (or so I’ve been told) and I refuse to let it go. So I thought, I’m NOT rewriting it again, but a comprehensive revision would be okay. I still have the original notecards and betas’ notes, and maybe it would be a good thing to stretch myself a bit and see what I can do. There is a deadline involved, and even if by some chance I don’t make that deadline, I’m still working on it and not letting it sit longer. It’s on my priority list for revisions anyway, so why the heck not? So I started the reread last night and….it’s not as horrible as I thought it was. It has its moments and definite places that need fixing (particularly with the heroine and hero) but damn. It’s actually quite good. So, maybe there’s hope yet!

(Just a bit of trivia for you. I began this book, called Pirouette, on Nov 1st for Nano in 2005. I finished the first draft on December 27, 2006 — yes, I remember it! — and the draft came in at 399,915 words. (!!!!!!) The first draft was more of an exploratory draft and bears little resemblance to what it is now, but it laid the groundwork for what followed. Draft 2 is where I made some major changes, all to the good, and that one came in at 192k. And….so on. Now it’s down to 128k.)

Yeah, so a big project I wasn’t planning on taking on this soon but there’s an opportunity there I don’t want to miss.

So that’s what’s going on.

Oh, yeah, on physical activity, I’ve done 15 mins  twice this week.

Chocolate consumption: Not a lot. Been trying to stay within the confines of my diet. (And I can’t believe I am saying that!)

How are you doing?

Why I love pantsing. Why you should do it, too.

For those of you not familiar with the term, “pantsing” refers to writing “by the seat of your pants” or “winging it.”  Some writers, like me, use a rough outline while others will not use one at all.  I actually considered myself a hybrid between pantser and outliner because some of my outlines can get detailed, whereas sometimes I’ll just have a vague idea of where I’m headed but nothing is EVER in stone.  EVER.  If a change I come up with on the fly serves the story better, than I’m all for it.

The thing with pantsing is that there’s so much discovery.  In my first drafts — especially those — I discover, literally, the story as I’m writing it.  Sure, I might have a rough outline that says “Susie gets married” and “Jenni goes to the store and meets someone there” but then maybe it’ll mutate and become something different, but something similar.  Usually, when I’m doing this, I’ll subconsciously (almost magically) combine things differently than the outline, but the result is usually pretty close.  Other times, it’s completely different, and that’s okay.  Now alot of writers need an outline.  They have to have that security — and that’s okay.  Hell, I feel pretty solid if I have some ideas of what I’m doing.  For Broken, I’ve got a pack of notecards with possible scenes on them that aren’t even in order.  They’re just ideas.  I might use them, I might veer off.  But I would hesitate to call it an outline.  And that’s okay, because sometimes, that’s the way I like it.

My characters work best as they hit the page.  I’ve done alot of prework on characters in the past, and in Survivor, that prework was invaluable.  However, I consider that to be the exception.  Because with all my other projects, nothing I did ahead of time stuck.  Alisia in Pirouette was supposed to hate her magic and herself.  Huh?  She doesn’t, although she does take pains to conceal it from everyone for different reasons.  I’m not entirely certain how it would have worked if I’d forced that part in.

So my characters show me who they are as we go.  The reason for this post is part of a revelation about Claire.  The main one touched down a few days ago and it left me stunned.  But today, going about my day, the reason why — which had eluded me so far — hit me.  And it made perfect sense.  As if I’d friggin planned it.  And that, my friends, is the power of pantsing.

I believe that the Muse (or subconscious) knows all.  She may not let you in right away, or never, or she might toss up hints here and there and then lightning will strike.  I learned about this in Holly Lisle’s How To Think Sideways class and I am a total believer.  In one of her lessons, she talks about things that you’ll be compelled to write that you don’t understand at the time but then later, it all makes sense.  It’s kind of like that.  My muse knew what the deal was, and tossed me that clue, and BAM! Today it came together beautifully.  I couldn’t have planned it better.

So now I know something fundamental about Claire, an elusive, enigmatic character.  And I didn’t have to do up any character sheets, or questionnaires, or anything.  Not that that’s wrong or bad, but as I’ve said, my process doesn’t seem to work that way.  And it worked well and almost too perfectly.  i can’t recommend this method enough.

If you’re an outliner, and you’re stuck, try this.  If it doesn’t work, fine, but maybe you’ll discover something you never knew before.  Maybe you’ll find out that this works, too.  And no one says to give up outlining — but sometimes writers need to be open to new things.  Hell, the idea of having a conversation with a character stuck me as odd, but now?  It’s one of the first things I do when I’m stuck.  Or freewriting.  That’s another cool trick I discovered just by being open to new things, new ideas. 

So that’s why I love pantsing.  Broken is at 9k currently and there’s very little that I know for sure, but for me, that’s where the magic is.  Where the story lies and where it leads.  It may take some twists and turns and detours, but I’m always amazed at what I can come up with on the fly.  It’s really amazing. 

So, pants it.  You’ll be glad you did.  😉

Where art thou, Alisia?

Even though my muse was totally against returning to Pirouette the Third this soon (she says she’s not ready yet), I wrote a rough scene that may become the new opening scene.  It does everything I need it to, sets up what she’s doing, and  (I hope) doesn’t infodump alot but contains little hooks. 

But one essential thing was barely there: Alisia’s kick-ass voice.  This is the one thing that I always got compliments on (well, barring one) and I feel it’s one of the strongest parts of the book.  Alisia is the mistress of snark.  She’s prickly and outspoken and sarcastic.  And so much fun to write.  Draft 1 was such a joy to write, because she was so there on the page and it really came through.  Second draft, still there mostly.  Third, yeah.  This scenelet?  Barely there.  What the heck happened?

Too damned much distance.  It’s diluting her voice in my head, making it weaker.  I think it could be the sheer volume of stuff I’ve been working on, and typically, voices don’t merge at all.  Like, I could never write Amara the way I write Alisia, even if I’m doing both at once.  It just wouldn’t happen.  However, I suspect that being in another character’s head for an extended period (and this goes for Flamebound, too, as I’ve been reading the manuscript constantly for the revision) weakens the others’ voices.  With Amara, it’s not so bad.  But Alisia, who’s strong and needs to be bigger than life inside my head, it’s a bit of a problem.  Luckily, I can add all that in subsequent drafts, but dang.  I never believed that I ‘d ever have problems with Alisia.  But apparently, there’s a first time for everything.

I might need to write a journal entry or fictitious conversation just to bring myself up to speed.  My brain is weird sometimes.

I think 3 projects at once is about my limit.  They’re all different — one’s in revision, one’s in an edit of sorts, and the other is in draft — no confusion there, but apparently there is a limit to my brain’s abilities to handle all the stuff for each project.  And I seem to be going at snail’s pace, but that’s to be expected.

The plan for my vacay (in two weeks!) is to work on Broken mostly, but if the urge moves me, I might work on Pirouette the Third. Actually, I’m going to rename it Pirouette Tweaky Pass because it’s not a new draft and it’s not exactly an edit or revision.  I’m just tweaking stuff.  Anyhoo, I’ll work on that if I feel the urge, but it’s okay if I don’t.  The Inner Slave Driver isn’t happy with this arrangement, but as I said, my muse is firm on the whole “I’m not ready” thing for the Pirouette Tweaky Pass yet.  But hey, we’ll see.  Maybe she’ll surprise me.  Lots of surprises lately.

Writing theme songs

All of my projects have at least one theme song attached to them, be it the whole book or an aspect of it.  I thought it might be interesting to list what they are and why.

Pirouette – all drafts (3rd draft in progress now):
 “Space Dye Vest” by Dream Theater.  I used this as Alisia and Lucien’s main “fighting” song.  It’s sad and torturous, and it brings up all kinds of heart-wrenching images in my head.  It just seemed perfect.

“Walk in the Shadows” by Queensryche – Raelan and Alisia’s theme.  In the last third of the book, [something spoilery happens] and for a time, Alisia and Raelan (who’s the villain) are….aligned.  This song, which talks about walking on the dark side of life, giving ino the darkness, fits the feeling of those scenes perfectly.

“The Killing Words” by Queensryche – Alisia and Lucien’s theme.  Just screams tragic, love, betrayal, heartbreaking stuff.  Sniff.

Flamebound (currently in revision):
“Take Hold of the Flame” by Queensryche.  The entire story is based on the song — or rather, my interpretation of it.  So many things tie to the world and story.

Survivor (recently finished first draft):
Operation: Mindcrime by Queensryche.  Yes, the entire album.  The book pretty much wrote itself to this awesome, magnificent album.  Since alot of the themes ran parallel to my story, it was almost eerie how the entire thing seemed like a metaphor for Survivor.  Some of it, like the brainwashing and mind control, were literal.

“Eyes of a Stranger” by Queensryche (on Operation:Mindcrime) – Amber’s theme.  Amber is the main character, and as she goes through some painful, traumatic stuff, she’s kind of transformed….and thus truly has the “eyes of a stranger.”

Requiem in Blue (2007 project)
“The Hands” by Queensryche – Meredith’s theme.  Meredith, the main character, is saved by someone.  “The Hands” makes me think of that, and salvation in general.

“Suite Sister Mary” by Queensryche – Some of the story was inspired by this song.  Especially one part about two people joining together to “make it through the night.”

Broken (currently in progress):
“Broken” by Lifehouse.  Also the why of the title, at least for now.  The song talks about being broken, and Amara, the main character, and the antagonist are both broken in a sense.

“Unbreakable” by Fireflight.  New band that I just discovered.  Totally Amara’s theme.  I realize that the songs seem contradictory, but it works, I swear!

Eowyn (perc’ing project for future):
“Ordinary World” by Duran Duran.  Theme of the book.  Because we’re dealing with quantum mechanics and alternate universes, and a “home” universe, it seems appropriate.

MindBound (future project):
“Lightning Field” by the Sneaker Pimps.  I saw a video of it and HAD to have the song, even though I’m not into that type of music.  Went on a wild goose chase and finally just today got ahold of it.  It’s THAT close to what this story is to me.  It (the story) has to do with an empath and pain and brainwashing, and the song is so perfect.  First words are “Strike me down…”  Can we say perfect?  Literal or figurative, it works. 

Soulfire (The Nano That Never Was):
“Lady Strange by Def Leppard.  Liana’s theme.  She’s the main character, and she isn’t exactly human and has non-human goals and wishes and such.  She’s a bit offbeat in her own way.

“Baba O’Riley” by The Who.  Book’s theme.  Completely encapsulates the dystopic future-Earth setting and the insidious reach of the New Regime.

Hereafter (Nano ’08):
“Women” by Def Leppard.  For no other reason than it gave me some compelling images inside my head, and somehow spawned plotty things.  This one I don’t really understand, but don’t question it, either.

At the moment, that’s all I can think of.  Will add more if I remember anything.

Revision complete!

Last night, I finished the One Pass Revision.  It was a great feeling to have plowed through the entire manuscript and made it better, closer to my vision of the story.  My writing partner, C, asked if it hurt to cut parts of it.  I told her that yeah — at first, it did hurt.  All those words.  All the lovely descriptions, the great dialogue, the emotions.  But early on I recalled that Holly Lisle said that a scene must move the story forward, contain conflict, characters we care about.  So…held against that, a great many scenes made it to the chopping block.  I had a lot of extraneous stuff.  I had put it in there as I went, thinking it might be good, but no.  Some of it had to go.  And with that knowledge, I’d freed myself to do what needed to be done.

My final answer?  Exhilarating.  It felt wonderful.  It felt good to be making the book tighter, better, closer to publishable.  I’m completely jazzed about this.  I haven’t been this excited in a really long time.

So today I’m taking off from Pirouette.  I might just catch up on stuff I’d neglected, or work on Hereafter.  Or, quite possibly, not write at all.  I finished a day early, and could use a day off.  It’s been intense, and I need to recharge the batteries.

So what’s the next step?  Reading through the manuscript, double checking my decisions on scenes, expanding where its needed, condensing if it needs it.  I have a few major, global changes I need to implement before I do the type in.  Alot of things occurred to me late in the process.  Like, for an example, towards the end I missed something very important to the overall story.  It needs to be in there.  Not going to say what, as it’s a spoiler and I don’t want to spoil anyone who might want to read it, or read it on the shelves (optimism, optimism!).  😉  So I have to figure out how that’s going to work and also where and when these things should be added.  Shouldn’t be too difficult once I make some decisions.

Just did some quick math.  The first draft was 399,915 words (!).  Iiieeeeee.  Yeah, I’m verbose.  I ended up cutting alot, and rewriting it from scratch.  That came in at 192,000 words.  Still too long, but about half as long, give or take.  I don’t have a new tally on what I rewrote in revision yet, but if you add the final counts of both drafts together, you get…  591,915 words.  *faints*  Half a million.  Four years.  That’s alot of work.  But I believe in the story, now more than ever, and I will see it to completion and hopefully publication.

So I’m one step closer to making my dream a reality.  It’s been an exhilerating experience so far.

Crap and double crap.

I got a plotbunny concerning the Morrighan, an Irish war goddess.  One, her role in Pirouette — in draft 1, she was the leader of the warrior group Alisia becomes part of; in Rewrite she did not exist.  At least not to my knowledge.  Damn, it feels like forever since I worked on it (it’s only been about 3 weeks).  Anyhoo, that will change.  Morrighan will be back in action.

And…..Dagmar, my war-romance plotbunny.  The main character is an Irish goddess.  She could, in theory, be the Morrighan.  Or become the Morrighan if I work it right.  Very interesting.

Yeah.  That’s all I’m saying on that.

Survivor  has been a wild ride so far.  Got 15k new words, go me!  Things have gone a bit off the rails, but I think that’s a good thing.  True to form, I’ve added a character and a huge complication that ties into the antagonist’s plan. 

Most of the scenes in my outline for the “endgame” — as I’m calling it — are done. Now, I need to start tying up loose ends, and head towards the very end (the climax) which is going to seriously rock.

It’s been fun, to say the least.

In the home stretch. And a little bit of history.

I estimate another 4 scenes and Pirouette will be finished.  It’s exhilerating and a little scary to be this close to the end.

It will still need some work before I start doing the agent rounds, but that’s ok.  I’m just one step closer to it being ready.

I’m a bit stumped on a plot point, and that has derailed me today.  I’m pondering it, throwing out ideas to myself, seeing if something will stick. 

Pirouette  is now at 167k.  I’m hoping to finish it on or near 170k, but we’ll see.

10 months of hard work has come down to this.  It has survived a divorce, a move, 2 parental surgeries back-to-back, recurrent tendonitis and a transition to voice recognition.  It has haunted me and kept me motivated for three years.  It has kept me grounded, kept me guessing, and has given me more pleasure that I can even express.  I absolutely love this book, and the Pirouette world.  The characters have grown and deepened over time.  Alisia is always fun to write.  Alisia and Lucien together rock good.

This book started its life as a short story called “Salvation.”  It was to answer the question: what if your salvation was really your hell?  Alisia started out as Emily, a woman who gets into a near-fatal car crash and almost dies.  Lucien, a doctor, offers to save her –but only if she become a vampire — his vampire mate.

It made it to 12 pages, and then Nano rolled around, and I decided to expand it.  Emily became Alisia, and became a ballerina/necromancer.  Lucien lost his M.D. degree and ended up becoming a vampire Prince.  And countless other things were added and twined together.

And now, with the second draft almost in the bag, I can’t help marveling at its evolution. 

Next up is Survivor.  I’ll be taking a short break from P after finishing to recharge the batteries, and I can’t wait to dig into it.

On 70 days of sweat, I made my goal of 60k, and then some.  Not sure if I’ll officially finish P by the end (May 16), but if I don’t, I know I’ll be pretty darned close.  Thank you, Sven.


The Year of the Agent

In 2008, my first and foremost goal is to 1) finish Pirouette and start shopping it around, and 2) find an agent.  I think this is totally doable, if I stick to my current pace which is roughly 20k a month.  I’m not sure how long it will take to get critted and to revise, but I’m hoping to have it done and ready to roll before the end of the year.  Course, that’s what I said last year.  Pffft.  But I want it to be the best it can possibly be, no matter how long it actually takes.

December 27, 2007, was the 1-year anniversary of the day I finished the first draft of Pirouette.  It weighed in at 399,915 words, and was the longest book evah.  And the most I’d ever written in one year.  In 2007, I wrote about 215k — still excellent, but with my wrist bad and the surgeries, it wasn’t as prolific.  S’ok.  It’s still 2 standard sized books.

Pirouette’s Rewrite of Doom is coming along.  It’s sitting at 95k, and prolly won’t be done in 120k as projected.  I’m tentatively projecting 150k, with the intention of trimming it down.  This draft is completely different but still retains a bit of what it was.  Very few elements stayed, and I’m glad for that–they were all cliches.  I’m on a quest to be different, to stand out from the crowd.  Vampire books I hear are harder to sell, and i don’t want anything that could potentially cause it to b rejected.  So.  Hence the changes.

This is year 3, by the way.  I started Pirouette in Nov. 2005 for NaNoWriMo. 

Another goal of mine is to get a normal, consistant writing schedule be it every other day, as I’ve been doing, three days a week, whatever.  I’m setting a low goal of 20k a month.  I am not, this time, setting wordcount goals.  I used to, back when I did 1k+ days and my wrist was fine.  It worked to keep me motivated and producing on a regular basis.  Now, I have to be careful of the wrist. I cannot lose another 2-3 months.  Cannot.  So I don’t really care how much I write per day (or per session) as long as it totals 20k or thereabouts at the end of the month.  A nice very doable goal.  20k a month gives me 240k a year — a nice clunk of words (almost 2.5 books).  Yeah.  So that is also my goal.

 Also want to try to work on Survivor, perhaps finish it in between the rewrite of doom and edits.  It is next in my queue.  Because I think it’s damned brilliant, and needs to be finished so I can start its Rewrite of Doom.  We shall see.

So those are my main goals.  I know I can get an agent, as long as I write like mad and make Pirouette the very best it can be.  And if I keep going the way I’m going, it should be done soon.  I plan on spending enough time on revisions/edits to really make it shine.  As long as that takes.

Yes.  I CAN do this.

Update on things.

Pirouette Rewrite of Doom: Heh.  I’ve just hit 46k, and I just began a rewrite of the scene I wrote yesterday to clear up a plot hole.  I’m still not happy with it, but for now, it serves.  I’m just over 1/3rd done, and I’ve projected my completion date to early 2008.  Oh, and it might grow in size and scope.  Whilst re-reading some of the first draft, I noticed that in my outline for the Rewrite, I’d forgotten about the antagonist’s people and their abilities.  So, yesterday’s scene was to introduce one of them, Sarah, as a viewpoint character.  She’s a dark witch and Alisia’s competitor in the dance troupe.  They will be pitted against each other before the book ends.

Also, someone dies.  Someone I didn’t anticipate. 

Survivor: The Rewrite has officially begun!  Say what?  Yeah.  Well, it’s more like I’ve been keeping the rewritten stuff together under the title Survivor Rewrite.  I’m not really rewriting anything now.  I still need to finish that damn first draft!  I stumbled across some very interesting (and compelling) info on mind control that I might use towards the end of the book.  It will give me what I need to happen and will be realistic, as this comes from true stuff.  Stay tuned.

Requiem in Blue: On hiatis officially, but upon re-reading some old material, I discovered that I really would like to know what happens next….and figure out how to eliminate a few plot holes.  Oh, and a new element presented itself to me yesterday.

Plot bunnies: List is still growing.  I now have a murder mystery/thriller bunny about a secret society that maims corpses as part of their ritual and another war romance.  I’m telling you, it’s unreal.  It kills me that I can’t write faster.  Oh well.  At least I will never hunger for ideas, eh?

So that’s what’s shaking with da Weaver. 

The Killing Rewrite

A true dialogue between Alisia and myself: and yes, the allusion to Queensryche’s song “The Killing Words” is totally intentional.

 EK: *whines* I’m having such a hard time with this damn rewrite.  It just seems to be going slow.  And slower.  You know, I just broke 5k a few days ago.

Alisia: *contemplative* And you can’t work faster because…..?

EK: *rolling my eyes* Because then it’ll turn to crap!  You know, like draft 1– *realizing what she just said and insinuated* –I mean, it’s not crap–

Alisia: You bet it isn’t!  It’s utter brilliance!  *she looks so feral, especially her eyes, and for a moment the Weaver is scared*

EK: That utter brilliance fell just shy of 400k.  Four. Hundred. K.

Alisia: So?  That’s how long it took to tell the story.  That’s ok, right?

EK: *shakes her head, wishes she had some Bailey’s to down* It’s not okay, Alisia.  It’s murder.  It’s….terrible!  I can’t write short.  It’s impossible.  *sighs, putting head down on table that suddenly appears*

Alisia: *patting the Weaver’s shoulder consolingly* Shhh.  It’s ok.  Whatever you need to do, do it.  I have faith in you.

EK: *looking up at Alisia* Uh….you do?

Alisia: Of course!   *she smiles, baring teeth that could almost pass for fangs* That’s why I picked you to tell my story.

EK: *narrows eyes*  So how come it changed after draft 1?  Why are you now Fae?

Alisia: *shrugs* Hell if I know.  Things get obscured sometimes.

EK: Great.  Now you sound like a prophetess.

Alisia: I am— *she stops, covering her mouth with one pale hand* I’m not supposed to say that, am I?

EK: Nopers.  Nice save.  *stretches like a cat*  So.  I am frustrated with this rewrite.  I keep wanting to edit the damn thing.  The Weaver never edits anything while in draft form.  It’s just…not done. *starts picking at one semi-long fingernail, then remembers her oath to herself not to do that, and fists her hand instead*

Alisia: Well, apparently the Weaver needs to learn some new tricks.

EK: But what good is editing doing me?  I backtrack!  I do the very thing S.L. Viehl says not to!  And I love her writing.  She rocks.  So why can’t I rock like that?

Alisia: *rolling her eyes* You do rock, just in a different way.  Okay.  *sits down on a chair that magically appears*  Here’s the thing.  Maybe editing isn’t so bad.  Maybe it is helping, even though it doesn’t feel that way right now.

EK: *nods, looking slightly confuzzled*  That could be.  But it just goes against the grain of everything.

Alisia: But remember, Weaver, remember.  This is your first real rewrite.  It’s bound to be a little weird.  You’re a speed demon on wordcounts.  I mean, 15 minutes and 500+ is damn good.  So, you just gotta roll with it.  You dig?

EK: *arches a brow* But you know, Eternal Dance was, technically, my first rewrite.

Alisia: That never made it past the first few chapters, as I recall.  *she buffs her fingernails against her top* And then before that, it was The Sacrifice. When you got annoyed with that, Radio Waves was born.  What ever happened to that one, anyhow?

EK: Uh….boredom?  Actually, I just got stalled.  Something else hooked me.  Damned if I remember what it was. 

Alisia: *giggling*  I don’t know how you keep everything straight.

EK: *taps her left temple* It’s called memory and compartmentalization.

Alisia: *makes a sign of warding* Oh, no.  Let’ not get all anal and high and mighty here.  I have a good memory, too.  I’m immortal, remember?

EK: Yes, I do.  *smiles*  But, that’s going to change.

Alisia: *pales visibly* I don’t wanna talk about it.

EK: Fine.  Back on topic.  I need to find a way to allow myself to write and edit and not feel so ….out of sorts with myself.  Any suggestions?

Alisia: You’re asking me?  I’m not a writer.  You are.

EK: But you are a Weaver.  Just a different kind.  So we’re like, cousins, or something.

Alisia: *looks down her nose, looking alot like…royalty* I don’t recall you having royal blood…..

EK: I might, Alisia.  Family legend speaks of it.  *winks*  Anyhow, we are very similar, and I thought you might have some–

Alisia: What about just…I dunno….writing the damn thing instead of worrying?

EK: That’s an idea.  Problem is, it’s that type of attitude that has me 8k behind.  As of tonight.

Alisia: And the race is….? 

EK: *shrugs* Oh, nothing.  Just a wee little dream of quitting my day job to be a fulltime writer.  Tiny thing.  Insignificant really.

Alisia: Awwww.  I’ve offended you.

EK: Who me, offended?  Nah.

Alisia: That’s right!  You don’t offend easily.  But…this hurts you doesn’t it?  You want this.  I can tell.

EK: *hangs head* Since I was really young.  I can’t bear to let that go.  And I have a chance.  But if I fuck it up, it’ll be gone. 

Alisia: *touches her Weaver’s wrist* Don’t worry.  You won’t fuck up.  You have me to pester, bother, and annoy you.  It will happen.  You’ll see.  You’ll be on the shelves, and so will I.

*Lucien walks up to them, looking sullen*

Alisia: Nashan, I was just telling our Weaver here that she’s going to make it. 

Lucien: *stares the Weaver down as if looking right into her soul* Make what?

EK: A chocolate, blood-filled cake.

Lucien: Oh.  That sounds….interesting. 

EK: *pretends to swat him upside the head* Hel-lo, prince of all vamps, come back to Earth.  Come back, Lucien.  *glances at Alisia*  What’s wrong with him?

*Alisia and Lucien exchange A Look*

Alisia: He’s upset that he hasn’t made an appearance yet in the rewrite.

EK: See what I mean! *throws up her hands in disgust* I haven’t fucking gotten there yet!

Lucien: It’s alright.  I’m sure it will be brilliant.

EK: Great, just what I need.  Pressure….

Alisia: Well, it could always be worse.  You could be dead.

Alisia’s voice can be heard in the background…. Stop editing this fucking post, will you!