Terrified

I’ve got to revise Ever Touched in 60 days. The first draft is technically not done, but I’m almost to the end. I see no point in struggling to finish — and eat into my 60 days — when the ending may end up changing anyway.

Today I said I’d start it. I’ve got my music ready, I’ve read the first few pages to familiarize myself with it (I haven’t read them in months), and I have an idea about how I want to work this.

Soooo what’s the problem?

Well, I’m glad you asked.

It’s something I call the “Rewrite Terrors.” Basically? It’s the fear of screwing up a book when rewriting or revising. F*cking it up good. And, as I only have 60 days, I can’t screw up anything. This is why I insisted on starting today. To give myself a month buffer. I was going to start Nov 1st, giving myself 30 days, but that seemed waaaaaaay too tight, especially with Thanksgiving and a guest coming in from out of town. I also set up my 2nd vacation the last week of the month so if I did get into trouble, I’d have more time to fix it.

I’ve done everything I can possibly do. Typically, I outline the book after finishing, but I am considering skipping that step. I may outline as I go, which will save time, I think. This way, if I do need that big picture view, I’ve got it.

This book is very, very different from the other two. It introduces a whole new race of people, and some interesting abilities. It may continue in the next book, if I can’t finish the story in this one. Maybe. I haven’t decided yet. But it also grapples with some interesting concepts. There’s science-y stuff in there, too, which I won’t reveal right now. All in all, I’m pretty happy with it. So why am I so goddamned scared?

Every single revision is scary and challenging, as I told my husband a few minutes ago. Every time it feels like it won’t come together, it won’t work, but it always does. Sometimes it requires more work, or more brainpower, or more fanagling, but it happens. I have to trust the process. I’ve revised *counts* 1 book 3 times, and 2 books once each, not including novellas and such. That’s to completion. One revision I abandoned because I’d changed everything so much that it required a rewrite (still pending). And I get scared each and every time. With the one I revised 3 times, I was super scared because it was the book of my heart and I needed it to be perfect. I still have another to do, but that’s another story.

Okay, time to chill and see if I can make this happen. Wish me luck.

Oh, and a hint as to the theme song of this book, which announced itself last week: The Sound of Silence, covered by Disturbed. I will be playing this a lot. If you haven’t checked this out, do so. It is absolutely amazing. Off to revise!

 

Talking to myself: Ending Ever Touched

I’m a bit hung up on a plot point in Ever Touched, so I’m gonna do my usual “talk to myself” thing to see if I can shake something loose.

As always, POSSIBLE SPOILERS for the end of Ever Touched. I may or may not use what I discover here. You’ve been warned.

Okay, so let’s get down to business. I need a way for the Hunters to find the three others who are hidden before they are [redacted].

How, with their implants turned off? I had a thought that maybe they could still sense each other, somehow, but that feels too easy.

What about the old-fashioned way? Using their knowledge of Julian and maybe some clues to find them? But what clues? Tari’s in a shack in the middle of nowhere. I haven’t figured out where the others are.

I’ll try talking to Brianna….

So, how are you going to accomplish this?

I’m not entirely sure. I think there has to be a link between the locations — where each woman is. Maybe places of significance, even if it doesn’t appear to be that way.

What if you are able to sense them without the implant working?

That’d be cool, but I can’t depend on that. He’s going to make sure they are off. And any psychic sense? I just don’t know. It seems risky. We’ve got a time limit.

Tari could possibly develop a sense without the implant, you know. She’s got a computer brain.

I’m still not sure.

Could Julian somehow show his hand and not realize it?

He’s an arrogant SOB. I don’t put it past him to somehow hint at where they are, thinking we’re too stupid to catch on.

And your situation is unstable….

Time’s running out for me, too.

But the visions…they could show you where they are, right?

Vaguely. It would give us a starting point. It will still be tough.

I think you guys could do it. You’ve been in impossible situations before.

Possible, yes. And hopefully before I have my, uh, problem flair up and uh, [redacted].

Right.

 
Okay, so I blame it on the day I’ve had. Of course it was the visions! That’s how this whole thing started, and hello, we’ll come full circle. It’s brilliant!

So I will probably use that or some variation of it. Now I need to figure out where the other two are and how these visions play out.

Lots to think about. 🙂

 

In which you learn more about me than you ever wanted to know…

Internet memes.  I’ve been tagged in one, and I tagged myself in another.  To make things so much more interesting, I’ve decided to combine them together to create one big Q&A where hopefully you’ll learn something new about me.

Or not.

So, let’s get this shindig started, shall we?

1. Of your characters, who would you most like to have as a real-life friend?

Alisia Duvall from Pirouette.  She is passionate, stubborn, strong, and brave.  She’s loyal and she’ll do anything for those she loves.  And she can communicate with ghosts, which is really interesting.

2. Which would you not want to be around anywhere but in the pages of a book?

There are quite a lot of characters too scary to be anywhere but in the pages of one of my books, but if I were to pick just one, I’d have to go with Raelan, the antagonist from Pirouette.  Spending any length of time in his twisted mind gives me the creeps.  And how he justifies his twisted actions?  Yeah, scary.

3. When a song bowls you over and you have to hear it again and again, what is probably the reason? (Great voice, real emotion, clever lyrics, et cetera)

All of the above!  Seriously.  I’ve fallen in love with songs for the voice (Geoff Tate of Queensryche and Adam Lambert come to mind), lyrics, emotion.  Sometimes a song will hit me so hard it gives me shivers.  One that does that all the time, even though I’ve listened to it at least a thousand times, is Queensryche’s Eyes of a Stranger, which happened to be the first song of theirs I ever heard.  And that was it.  I was a goner.  The main reason is the lyrics and situation behind the song (it’s part of a concept album) and Geoff Tate’s incredible voice.

Another one is Crestfallen by Avantasia.  It stuck in my mind for a least 3 days afterward.  It was a combination of lyrics, feeling, and the song construction itself.  Just…shiver-inducing.

4.Of everywhere you’ve been, where was your favorite place to be? (Home is a perfectly acceptable answer!)

New Orleans.  I seriously considered moving there at one point.  This was pre-Katrina, so I have no idea what it’s like now.  Then, it was a place of magic and wonder and art.  It was amazing, and I desperately want to go back someday.

5. Where do you want most to go?

Ireland.  Because I’m Irish, and I’d like to see where my ancestors came from.  (And I hear it’s amazing).

6.What is the meaning of life? (okay, okay–YOUR life.) What do you think your life is about?

Um…well, I think life is a big mystery.  A journey, not a destination.  Constant evolution, becoming the person you are meant to be.  Everything that happens helps shape you, helps you evolve. (I’ve given this a great deal of thought over the years).

7. What’s the best thing about what you do for a living?

Well, I work a soul-sucking day job, so there’s not much that’s good except the paycheck (and that it exists!).  But one of the effects of working a day job is the structure.  I need structure, and without it (like on weekends), it’s very difficult to be productive because hey, I have so much time!  Holy crap!  I’ll do that…tomorrow.  Nah.  Tonight.  Nah.  And nothing gets done.  Since I have limits on my time during the week, I have to work to fit it all together and thus it helps me stay on task.

8. What do you do when you need inspiration?

I listen to music.  Sometimes it’s music that fits the mood.  Sometimes it’s the actual soundtrack I put together for the project in question.  Sometimes I let my mind wander.  It depends on the situation.

9. When you need some time for you, where do you go?

I hide out in my basement office (my “woman cave”).

10. Plotter or pantser?

It depends on the story in question.  Some I’ve written using a loose outline.  Others I’ve written using a monstrous detailed outline of doom (which worked quite well).  And there are some that I’ve completely pantsed.  I actually prefer to pants it the whole way, but that could be the fried brain talking. (I just finished an intense, unspeakably brutal revision on Fey Touched and my brain is now fried.  And quite possibly dead).

11. To close with a (fairly) easy one–talk about a book. Any book.

Oh, god.  Let’s see…if I mention my own, will you think I’m a narcissist?  Oh, fuck it. Fey Touched rocks, guys.  It’s a blend of sci-fi, fantasy, and romance.  It has swearing and battles and sex.  It’s got some awesome twists and turns in it.  Buy it, buy it, buy it in August (oops.  Got carried away there).

In the interest of fairness, I will mention The Hunger Games, which I just finished reading.  It was a great book.  Kept me totally riveted.  Very unusual premise.  I’m reading book 2, Chasing Fire (talk about appropriate titles!) right now.

12. What was the first story you ever wrote? Spare no embarrassing details.

Oh, boy.  Can I skip this question?  No?  All right, fine.  When I was a kid, I was obcessed with unicorns and wrote a story about a girl who gets transported to a place called Unicorn Valley where she meets these uh, unicorns and she ends up saving them from an evil …something or another.  I don’t actually remember.  It’s scary but I still have it somewhere.  I’m sentimental like that.

13. What’s your favorite nonfiction topic to read about?

Well, as of late, it’s been the Holocust.  It started with a book called Rena’s Promise that’s a true account of a Holocust survivor’s time in Auchwitz.  But my go-to topic is science news and/or brainwashing.  For stories, of course!  I’m intrigued by the brain and the human mind.  And the human spirit.

14. How much research do you feel like you need to do before you start a new story?

Depends on the story.  Some require a lot, some don’t.  I try not to get bogged down in it (but it’s so much fun!)

15. Writing challenges (ala Nanowrimo) – useful, or merely stress-inducing?

Useful to the point of obcession.  I can’t formally participate anymore because my wrists are the suck, but I try to do something at my own pace, using the Nano (or challenge) spirit to keep me moving.  I do well with challenges.

16. Why do you write your main genre?

Well, once upon a time, a romance reader got hounded by her mother to read a fantasy novel called Wizard’s First Rule by Terry Goodkind.  “But I’m not a fantasy person,” she complained.  “I’m not into this.”  “But you’ll love it!  Just give it a try!” Her mother said, pushing the book into her hands. The reader put it off, dreading it, but finally decided to pick it up.

And she was fucking hooked.  Everything — the people, the magic, the world, the story itself.  The main characters, who were brave and noble and amazing.  The struggles they went through.  The love they had for each other that survived through hell and back.

The reader said, “Wow, I never knew it could be this cool!  Or riveting! Or amazing!  I must read more!”

And the result of that reading frenzy, which continues to this day (going on 8 years), is this romance only reader decided to write fantasy.  Because she wanted to write something this amazing, with noble and brave characters and love that survives anything in a world of magic.  Thanks, Mom!  Best thing you ever did.

17. What genre/author/book do you secretly love but would never admit to in polite conversation?

*blushes* Adam Lambert fanfiction.  Don’t look at me like that!  There are some really good fics out there, and it’s interesting to see the different authors’ spin on things, real or imagined.  And anything Adam is happy-inducing.

18. What’s your favorite movie-adaptation of a book?

Well, it’s not a movie, it’s a TV series called Legend of the Seeker, based on Terry Goodkind’s Sword of Truth books (Wizard’s First Rule is book 1).  They made a lot of changes and although a lot of fans were upset, I think they did a decent job.  Unfortunately, it was cancelled after the second season, so we may never know what comes next (no, I’m not bitter.  Oh all right, I’ve had a sad since finding that out.  A sad that won’t ever go away, sniffles).

19. What is your favorite type of cephalopod?

Octopi, although I’d never eat one (can you say suction cups?  Ewwww.)

20. What is your writing tool of choice?

Computer.  Can’t live without it.

21. What are your feelings about the proper usage of whom?

My feelings are quite intense.  Because I pride myself on good grammar and spelling and all that shit, I think people should be more aware of their usage of it.  Sometimes, I go into convulsions over bad usage.  Makes quite the spectacle at work.

22. What are you doing to bring yourself closer to your writing goals?

A couple of things.  Currently, I’m gearing up to self-publish Fey Touched as an experiment.   I will at some point be looking at Pirouette again for agent submission.  Also, I continue to learn as much as I can.  I’m taking Holly Lisle’s How to Revise Your Novel class, and hope to come out of that with a saleable novel.

23. Where do you get your ideas from?

The hamsters in my head, of course.  Seriously, anything and everything.  My brain likes to sift through things and make connections.  It’s kind of scary at times.

24. If you have some terrible old stories that will never see the light of day, which one do you still have a soft spot for?

That would be what is technically the first draft of Fey Touched.  It’s called The Sacrifice and it was my first  finished novel that I completed in 30 days for my first NaNoWriMo in 2003.  Although not much of that draft remains except the main characters’ names and the whole paranormal creature/hunter thing, although now they’re science-based and…never mind.

25. Where in the world would you live if you could live anywhere?

New Orleans.

26. Where would you love to visit, but not live?

Colorado.  Mostly because I can’t breathe there but love, love the mountains.

27. What’s the most awe-inspiring moment you’ve had (that you’re willing to share)?

That would have to be atop Pike’s Peak in Colorado.  It was as if I were on the top of the world.  Amazing.  Also amazing were the American Indians that did dances for us (I knew one personally and we were close and it made me feel closer to him even though he’s deceased).

28. Who’s your captain — Kirk, Picard, Captain Jack from Torchwood, Jack Sparrow, Malcolm Reynolds, other?

Captain Janeway of Voyager, of course!

29. Which author’s universe would you love to write in if you could?

Oh man, tough question.  Okay, I’ve narrowed it down to two.  Terry Goodkind’s Sword of Truth world and Karen Marie Moning’s Fever world.  Both are amazing.

30.What was your gateway drug into your genre of choice?

Terry Goodkind’s Sword of Truth series.

31. What’s your favourite hobby, creative or otherwise, when you’re not writing?

Photography and reading, hands down.

32. Are you a morning person or an evening person?

Sooooo not a morning person even though I work a day job.

33. What was the most memorable meal you’ve ever had?

I’ve had a lot of memorable meals so that’s hard to say.  Every holiday I’m bowled over by the amazing cooking skills of my mother and mother-in-law.

34. To plot, or not to plot?

Yes and no.  Depends on the book.

35. If you could have one super-power, what would it be?

Gonna sound like a twisted maniac for this, but it’s pretend so…what the hell…mind control.

36. Of all the stories you’ve created, which one’s your favorite, and why?

This is tough.  Really, really tough.  Six months ago I would have said Pirouette, but Fey Touched is also dear to my heart.  It’s a tie.  I refuse to choose.

They both have the coolest protagonists and they both have amazing twists and difficult decisions to make.  Both have romances, both have an intriguing world.  Both have scary antagonists with scary magic/technology/personalities.

See?  Can’t do it.

37. What’s your genre of choice, and why?

Already answered that, but basically fantasy because there are so many different possibilities. And there’s magic.

38. If you were given one “free” year (no responsibilities, a year’s worth of disposable income) what would you do with it?

Write like a madwoman.  Natch.

39. What’s your strategy for beating Writer’s Block?

Well, usually that involves a wrong turn taken somewhere so I first try to pin down where I went wrong.  And then I analyze it to death.  Ad analyze it some more.  Then I brainstorm ways to fix it.  And then, I just write.  And keep writing.  That’s the best way to work through writer’s block in my opinion.

40. Do you tend to stay in one particular genre, or do you write all over the map?

I stay more or less within the speculative fiction genre (sci-fi, fantasy) but occasionally I veer into horror.  It’s that twisted, dark mind of mine.

41. What’s your “universal” theme?

This is a really tough question, as I don’t really set out to write to a theme, but if I were to guess, I’d say redemption.  That comes up a lot in my books.

42. Dogs or cats?

Team Feline for the win.

43. What’s the last thing you read that you couldn’t put down?

Rena’s Promise (about the Holocust survivor) and The Hunger Games.

44. If you weren’t a writer, what would you want to be when you grow up?

This is assuming I could be anything I want regardless of ability (or math skill, as it were): a neurologist. Are we surprised?

 

Okay!  Now it’s your turn.  Pick 10 questions from the above and also answer the following:

1) Do you have a specific writing ritual that puts you into the proper mindset?

2) Have you based any characters on real people?

3) Who’s your favorite author of all time?  Why?

4) When did you know you were a writer?

5) What’s the craziest novel idea you’ve ever had?

6) What book of yours gave you shivers?  Why? (Doesn’t need to be horror, either).

7) Do you have specific songs associated with your current work-in-progress?

8) How long have you been writing?

9) What’s the secret project you wish you could write but haven’t yet?

10) Who is your coolest character ever?  Why?

 

I tag the following: whoever’s reading this and wants to play, SM Reine, Ana Ramsey, and Kendall Grey.

 

In the home stretch

I’ve been writing a lot since I last posted.  Something like 30k or so.  My drop-dead deadline is April 1st to get it to my Turtleduck Press editor.  And that is a polished, publication-ready manuscript…not the mess it is currently.

The first half of the book needs to match the second half.  I changed quite a few things.  And it needs some smoothing.  That’s the only problem with completely pantsing it (that is, writing without an outline) — you end up with a lot of things to rewrite or clean up.  But it works.  I haven’t written a book this fast in a long, long time.  And the kicker is that I haven’t written down any of my plans.  I’ve let things happen organically.  I’ve followed my muse wherever she’s led me, and I believe the finished product will be awesome for it.

I’ve had a few setbacks, though, like migraines and wrist issues.  I’ve been careful, but unfortunately, my left wrist is soooo sensitive.  So I’ve been taking care not to overdo it.  And if I do, I usually skip the next day’s writing session to compensate.

My original goal was to have the draft done by mid-month.  That’s not happening.  The draft is at 108k now, and I anticipate at least another 5k to wrap things up.  I’ll be cutting some things so I hope to have it end up around 100k when I’m done.

My new deadline is to finish the draft this weekend, but I’m not sure if I can do it.  I’ll try like hell, though, because that will give me more time to revise, edit, and polish.

I also have decided on book 2, both the name (Grave Touched) and the main “problem.”   So that’s good.  I’m not sure what I’ll be doing in between edits, but I’ve considered starting book 2.

I also wanted to get some work done on the Flamebound revision and the Survivor Rewrite.

Recently, I sat down and put all the Survivor files together into a master document.  Then I can just move stuff around, cut, add, etc.  It came in at around 300k and 800+ pages!  This will be a big job, but I want to try to get it traditionally published.  Same with Flamebound.  We’ll see how it all shakes out.

So. Back to writing.

68k on Fey Touched

I just hit 68k on Fey Touched.  I can hardly believe it because I started in on October 31st, writing roughly 30k a month.  I haven’t stopped to plot ahead (just what’s in front of me currently – the “headlight method”) and I haven’t really stopped to analyze much of anything.

Normally — or what’s been normal — for the past few years, I’d work myself up into a frenzy about how awful my writing was, and naturally the muse would disappear.  I’d get depressed, and I wouldn’t make my words for the day.  I’d get more depressed, and on and on.  Yeah, there are flaws in Fey Touched.  There is an entire thread that might need to be reworked.  There are some worldbuilding things that need to be tweaked.  There’s a telepathic dog named Pixie that needs to play a larger role in the first third.

But, I also had a few surprises: a potential romance between the MC and someone I didn’t expect, the plague angle which I believe rocks, and the telepathic dog thing.  Oddly enough, I’m not a dog person at all, but I have a soft spot for my sister’s boyfriend’s German Shepard/Ridgeback mix.  And so Pixie was born.

Writing this way takes me back to the old days, when I felt free.  When I wasn’t so worried about getting published.  I just wrote.

So Fey Touched has brought the joy back.  It wasn’t even planned — it was a stray thought I had while filing one day at work and it grabbed me by the throat and wouldn’t let go.  I had to write this book.  And while the revision might be intensive, as I suspect it will be, I’m very happy with it overall.

I also have not a single thing written down in the way of plot, not even for memory purposes.  I do have a great memory, but since I hit 30, it’s been slipping a bit.  Normally I would write things down.  But having it in my head playing like a movie works.  Writing this quickly (and for me, this is very fast) keeps the story in my head and it’s flowing, changing, mutating.  I have ideas all the time, but one or two will stand out.  And that’s my next direction.  That’s how I’ve managed to write so much in going on 3 months.  It’s just there.  I don’t have to even think much.  It’s pretty amazing.  And exhilarating.  This is what I meant by writing with joy.  It’s amazing.  I feel better.

I have gotten stuck a couple of times, but each and every time (with the exception of the 11k start that needed to be trashed in the beginning), it’s been only for about a day.  I’d get into my writing headspace and brainstorm and poof!  It’s there.  It’s always there.  Pretty damn amazing.

I’ve got ideas for books 2 and 3.  Book 2 deals with the fallout of book 1, and book 3 introduces a new character who switches sides.  It’ll be cool.

Still on track to be done around February.

And I need an ending.  Currently it’s nebulous, but I trust my muse to figure it out and hopefully share.  Soon.

This is tough.

I’m writing poetry again, and it’s like a half-remembered dream.  It disappears when I get too close to it.

Why am I torturing myself so?

Well, Turtleduck Press is putting together a winter-themed anthology, and since I can’t write a short story, it was suggested I write poetry.

Easy, right?

Oh sure, I can wax poetic on love, winter, Christmas.  But for it to sing, to move me, not so much.  I tried a new form, too, called the rondeau.  It’s French, and it involves repetition in a certain pattern.  I love poems with repetition and have been successful with both sestinas and pantoums.  And I’m normally very edgy about formal poetry, but this speaks to me.

Oh my goodness.  I feel like a novice poet — as if the past 15 years of poems haven’t been written.  I feel like a stranger in my skin.  What the heck happened?

I suspect I’m out of practice.  And writing to a theme is really tough.  I keep trying to write sad love poems.  And the Christmas poem I wrote was also sad.  I’m not sure that’s going to work.

But, gonna keep poking at it.  Maybe something will come.

It’s going….kind of.

It’s been slow.  Darklight is just shy of 5k, after rewriting the opening scene 3 times.  I also discovered a better way to bring out the creepy so things have changed a bit plot-wise and Ellya might have a brother who becomes very important later.  I think.  The muse and I are still working on that.

I had oral surgery one week ago to remove a wire from my jaw surgery 20 years ago (!) that my body decided to reject.  I’d been feeling like utter crap, dizzy as hell, and a bit spacey, and that is why.  So no writing occurred because I couldn’t fathom it.  So I took a bit of a break, but spent most of my time either reading or thinking about writing, which was actually quite productive.  So now I’m back at it, but slowly, because my muse is still a bit gun-shy.  My quota is 100 words a day and I’m aiming low.  I have the time, and pushing myself or pressuring myself isn’t gonna work this time.  So going slow and building up to more.

I’ve approached Darklight very differently than I’ve approached other novels.  I’ve never tried to write a straight-up horror novel, and I suspect this one will end up with psychological horrors as well.  I can’t help it.  It’s my inner psychologist working on me.  But I am trying for more horror too, so we’ll see.

I’m also telling this story differently.  First person present, a first for me.  Also there will be some journal entries by Ellya, the main character, in this novel and they will take place in a different location than the main action (her relationship with her love interest I think will be told in the journal entries, at least for part of it).  And finally, the chapters have names.  They will all use the format “[something] and the [something].”  And I’m letting my muse come up with them ahead of time and I will try to pull out what I think should go in that chapter based on the limited “plotting” (if you could call it that) I did.  Totally random, totally muse-directed, and I think it’ll be good. This is thanks to Holly Lisle, who has a class (How to Think Sideways) which I took and graduated from where she demo’d a plotting technique.  I sort of adapted it for my chapters.

So I’m living the muse for now, and it’s been enlightening.

I’ve also decided that once I get the comments back on Pirouette, I’ll make a ruling on whether or not I want to pursue getting an agent with it.  And after that is decided, I’ve also decided to tackle Alpha Female again.  Going with my goal of submitting something this year, I think AF is the logical choice as it needs a bit of work and then it might be ready for critique.  We shall see.

On the back burner (can you tell I’ve been thinking a lot about this?) are Darkweaver, which was supposed to be my Nano novel for this year, and my Fae-war romance inspired by my grandparents that suddenly bopped me over the head about a week ago.  Tentatively titled Pixie Queen, but that’s subject to change.

Ugh.  Want to move forward.  And I am, just slowly.

Missing: One Muse

I’ve got a big problem.  My muse has up and disappeared.  I’ve been working on stuff for Darklight, waiting to start until I felt like I had enough done, and I  feel that I do.  Except my muse has been absent.  And I’m getting to the point where I need to either start this thing or go off in another direction.

Darklight hits a lot of my buttons: conspiracy, the dark side, mind control, an alternate reality, memory loss, possession, a dead goddess, love between enemies to name a few.  So I’m jazzed about this.  I’ve even got a hint of a voice for the main character.  I have an idea of the first scene and the 3 “disasters” that will help move the plot forward.  I’m struggling with finding the right name for my MC. I need to have it at least sorta right before I start, or it won’t work.  (Survivor, oddly enough, is the exception.  I slapped two names out of thin air for the twin MCs and they grew into their names).  This feels really important to me.  I’ve gone through so many names: Tempest, Dasia, Annalisse, Terlyn, Emiliana, Elizabeth, and now Ellia.  I think Ellia might be it, but I’m going to let that settle a bit before making the decision.  It’s like naming a baby: it needs to be right.  It needs to invoke what I need to invoke.  As an aside, I am using the name Tempest for another character, and it fits perfectly.  I’m also considering Velia.  There’s a cool meaning there that I can’t quite remember, but I do remember when I read up on it, something clicked.

As for my muse…well, I suspect she’s feeling a little intimidated.  This would be my first serious foray into the horror genre and if I offer it up to Turtleduck Press, I’m going to have a tight deadline.  I believe I can do it, but it’s a bit scary nonetheless.  But I need the practice writing to a deadline so I think it would be good for me.  If I can just start the thing.

So I’ve decided that if she doesn’t come back by the end of this weekend, I’m using brute force.  Gonna put whatever on the page.  She’ll want to poke at it, and that should get her interested.

But if you see her laying on a beach sipping pina coladas, tell her that she’s urgently needed.  I need her back like yesterday.

Update – Still alive, mostly.

Um, yeah.  I’ve been working on Pirouette (up to page 88 of 281) and promoting both Life as a Moving Target and Without Wings.

I’ve had some issues with Pirouette.  I’ve made a very critical change to the book near the beginning, and while I believe it will make everything stronger, it kind of threw me for a loop.  Alisia and Lucien have to react to this and it’s not something they’ve encountered before.  Also, they are newly married, so things are a bit tricky right now.

I just finished the second new scene of 3 and I’m not sure I nailed it.  Lucien leaves the room at the end, and I didn’t plan that.  I asked my muse, “WTH? Why did he leave?” And my muse hasn’t answered my question yet.  I hope she will sometime soon.

I’m also a bit worried about the length.  Two words: Growing. Again.

In cheerier news, I have some new and not-so-new stuff happening.  I’ve decided my next project is to try to finish the revision of Flamebound and then begin the rewrite.  I have some ideas for that, and I might try to fit in some revision work here and there when I can.  Pirouette is still the priority though.

And lastly, I have an idea for a horror story.  I don’t even know what it wants to be – short story, novella, or novel.  It came fast and furious in the shower one night and I’m pretty excited.  Just don’t know when I’ll be working on it.  It doesn’t even have a title yet.

So that’s what’s shaking here in my world.  Stay tuned.

Without Wings is now available!

Without Wings, my second chapbook with Turtleduck Press, released yesterday!  It explores the dark side of love.

My friend and fellow indie author SM Reine wrote an awesome review!

Here’s an excerpt:

“Her poetry has a way of painting pictures with negative space– that is to say, the things she withholds from the poems, rather than what she puts in them.  She dives right into the depths of emotion without hesitancy, and she has arranged the poems within to create a rhythm throughout the chapbook that flows as well as her poetry itself. ” 

You can read the review, as well as a short interview I did with SM Reine, here: http://www.smreine.com/2011/04/review-and-interview-without-wings-by.html  .

And to buy or for more information, visit us at http://www.turtleduckpress.com . I will be doing a giveaway very soon!

In other news, the Free-For-All ended up becoming Pirouette month. Which is just fine.  I’m on page 32.  It sounds like not a lot, but I’ve made some fantastic progress on the worldbuilding and the characterization.  I also have some ideas for the story as a whole.

Which leads me to my next point.  I realized that, while writing and rewriting novels may at times seem slow and inefficient, it also helps bring the entire thing into better focus.  For an example, in draft 2, I had Alisia totally unwilling to do something.  She fought with the people forcing her into it, but eventually figured she was overruled and went along with it.  That to me seemed rather shaky and Alisia is not one to go along with something she doesn’t want to do.  So, instead, in this draft, she’s going along with it, yeah, but to prove everyone wrong.  I think this is keeping with her personality more than in draft 2.

I also added some neat little touches to the world that will become important later on.

Alisia is more snarky now, if that’s even possible.  I’d wondered if I’d forgotten how to write her.  Nope, just took a little sabbatical.  She’s alive and kicking again!

So you see, I had to write 3 drafts to get to that destination.  I believe that nothing is ever wasted, even if I scrap something and start over.  It’s still there, in my head, and it can be revisited or refigured.  But I wouldn’t have gotten here without the original scene in draft 2.

Now my task is to keep the characterization consistant throughout the book.  Alisia and Lucien have to work for their happiness, and there needs to be obstacles.  And there are many.  So, that’s what’s next.

As for Alpha Female, I have a few changes I want to make, and the things I added to Pirouette will affect a few things in Alpha Female, so I think it would be best if I put it on the back burner for now.

I also was considering trying to write more poetry this month.  We’ll see how that goes.