Yeah, so 18 pages in, it dawned on me that everyone is kinda wandering around trying to figure things out and all of a sudden the tribe’s doctor, Michelle, hands them the exact information they need with no problem. As she’s a hardcore scientist, this is BAD. This is lazy. This is the suck.
So, while in the shower the other night, I said, “Eff it. We’ll start with the problem and the right person will be there to help and it will be more natural (and less lazy) and it would start it in the perfect place.”
As for the MC, Emily, I’m not sure how to approach her pot thread. I figure we’ll cut right to her for scene #2, but again, there’s a lot of bumbling around. In the original, she had amnesia and hated everyone on sight…oops? Next draft, she was blind but remembered everyone. This draft, doing neither. She’s got a lot of things to deal with already.
There are also problems with the love scenes. Emily does not want to resume her physical relationship with Nick after she wakes up. I thought, “well, she’s confused, and she feels wrong (which is important later) and la, la, la, no sexy tiems.” Well, they’re not mated, and they will be by the end, and I feel a bit of a gaping chasm between them that needs to be worked out. It might be a good thing. I’m not sure yet.
So, back to page 1. I do believe it is getting better overall, though.