Status: depressed and confused

That about sums it up.  The 2nd pass went wonderfully until I went to rewrite the big fight scene — the climax of the entire book — and rewrote it about 5 times.

I suck at fight scenes. 

Intellectually, I understand the mechanics of it, but when I try to write it, it comes out wrong.  I mean, really wrong.  It’s actually kind of scary.

But there is a ray of hope: I used to have the same problem with sex scenes.  And I’ve pretty much conquered that, through practice and sheer will alone, so perhaps this will be the same.  Maybe it will take awhile but it will work out.  Problem is, while I’m angsting about this, time is slipping by.  I have a second scene to rewrite, but that’s it –and the type in.  I feel at loose ends right now — I decided to take a mini break that became a real break when I got sick, and now after about 3 days, I’m twitchy as hell.  I even considered starting a new project, totally on the fly and without an outline, just to make the feeling go away.  And remember, except for the scenes I’ve rewritten in Pirouette, I haven’t done any real writing.  I’m going to remedy that soon with Survivor — but not yet.

There are some personal things weighing on my mind as well, which haven’t helped matters.  I use writing to get away from it all, but if I can’t write…well… has to go somewhere.  Usually, it’s within.  But I’m okay.  This too shall pass.

Read Flamebound for the first time since finishing it on Dec 19th.  Oh boy.  It’s going to need ALOT of plot work.  Everything else is pretty solid.  I might lengthen it and submit it elsewhere first.  Because there’s no way I can cut it down 15k.  Well I could, but I don’t think it would do the story justice.  And it’s all about the story.

So that’s where I’m at.  Hoping things improve.  Hoping I can write again soon.

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